The man just can't go a day without saying something annoying. Also today: You actually might get invited to the Wedding of the Century, Kim Kardashian is totally doing things, and an in-depth analysis of the Bristol Palin affair.
Adrien Brody turns 36 today. Makeup queen Bobbi Brown is 52. Sarah Michelle Gellar is turning 32. Disgraced baseball great Pete Rose is 68. Everybody Loves Raymond's Brad Garrett is turning 49. Abigail Breslin is turning 13. Actress Julie Christie is 68. Anthony Michael Hall of Weird Science and Breakfast Club fame is 41. Shawntae Harris, the rapper better known as Da Brat, turns 35. And country music legend Loretta Lynn celebrates her 74th birthday today.
After a brief, thrilling lapse into the parallel universe of stars attacked by their own security detail, we're kind of relieved today to see the restoration of celeb-on-paparazzo violence. And few do it like Brad Garrett, a pap-attacker from way back who last night staged a stunning return to form outside Dan Tana's. TMZ's record of the altercation suggests Garrett was provoked, and unless the taunts "He's just a tall faggot, anyway," and "Pussy" were defanged at some recent historical moment we overlooked, we think we'd tend to agree.Either way, criminal charges may be forthcoming for Garrett, whose fierce right jab concludes with the most satisfying crunch you'll hear this side of your lunch hour. We can't say the same for Garrett's shrill, "Come on" supposedly meant to entice his aggressor into actual fisticuffs, but that's what the break between rounds is for, we guess. Expect his famous, full-throated baritone to mutter much more insistently when the fight resumes next spring on a red carpet to be determined.
♦ You'd think that for $85,000-a-month, you might shell out a few extra few bucks on a maid. Apparently not. According to the Star, there's no one cleaning up after Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's kids, and their French chateau is a complete pigsty that "looks like a war zone." [Star]
♦ Jennifer Lopez raised $127,000 for charity by competing in the Malibu triathalon. She then flew directly to New York and spent $800,000 on Marc Anthony's birthday party. [MSNBC]
♦ According to the always reliable Joe Francis, Lindsay Lohan is straight. [E!]
♦ Lindsay: Please don't discuss how you're supporting Barack in November. You're embarrassing him. [NYDN]
This may be the most unnecessarily awkward Fox & Friends interview ever. That Doocy guy or whatever says it's probably the "most offensive" ever, and Brad Garrett, the interviewee, seems to think it's the most hilarious. Basically the 'Til Death (that's a television show, I'm told) star starts pontificating strangely about Barack Obama, then hurls some nouveau Borscht Belt zingers out at the crew, then sort of incoherently makes fun of the show's makeup girl. Meanwhile the Fox robots don't get any of the jokes and just sort of stutter strangely and repeatedly call him offensive. I had to pause it and close my eyes really tight a few times. Political discourse! Clip, via Videogum, is after the jump.
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