• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer made their first awards show appearance together at last night's Oscars, sitting just 12 seats away from Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, although they managed to avoid a run-in by skipping the red carpet and showing up at different pre-show parties over the weekend. [People, NYDN]
• Uma Thurman, Darren Aronofsky, Rachel Weisz, Natalie Portman, and Daniel Craig all skipped out of the show early to head over to the Vanity Fair bash, where Graydon Carter invited Chesley Sullenberger and his wife Lori as surprise guests. [LAT, P6]
• Penelope Cruz and Tom Cruise had an awkward encounter at CAA head Bryan Lourd's house party on Friday night, while Oprah and Gayle King held court at Barry Diller and Diane von Furstenberg's pre-Oscars bash, and everyone "partied like it was 1999" at Harvey Weinstein's gathering. [P6, P6, Fox 411]
• At the Spirit Awards on Saturday, Mickey Rourke "playfully mauled" Rachel Weisz and "made a grab" at Jessica Alba's chest. [People, NYDN]
• A full list of Oscar winners, in case you missed the action last night. [People]

As soon as the couple gets within range, the network will presumably deploy Jennifer Aniston as a sort of celebrity Hellfire missile. Click for full-sized image.

• Angelina Jolie was seen apartment hunting in Washington Heights. This comes weeks after Angie and Brad signed the lease on a $100,000-a-month home on Long Island. [Us, NYP]
• Michael Phelps has been hanging out at strip clubs, since it's the only place he can go without having his photo being taken. Good thinking. [P6]
• Lindsay Lohan showed up to a party at Southern Hospitality on Sunday so she could hang out with Chace Crawford. But then he ditched her and she spent the rest of the night "glued" to model May Andersen. [OK!, P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker says the next Sex and the City movie will have to be more recession-friendly. You think? [Us]

If the numbers truly don't lie, then neither Brad Pitt nor Angelina Jolie will collect Academy Awards on Sunday. But who needs Oscars when America's auction-scavenging elite are on your side?

Out of fairness to Quentin, Harv, and the whole Basterds gang working so hard to bring you all the Nazi-scalping excellence you deserve, we bring you now the official HD Basterds trailer.

Look, we'll be the first to say we love a good Jews Fight Back movie.

Continuing budget woes required the hosts of the BAFTA Awards to cut their little-known backstage daycare room for this year's ceremony. And as presumed, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's fellow hotel guests suffered the most.

We can't say ET seems an entirely logical place to unveil Inglourious Basterds (Mary Hart: "Looks exciting, Mark! And now from Nazi scalps to Nazi scallops, celebrity chef Wolfgang Puck previews his Oscar menu etcetc.")

• Paris Hilton hasn't given up on her dream of musical superstardom. At a Grammy after-party on Sunday, she accosted Paul McCartney and asked him if he'd be interested in doing a duet with her. Paul politely explained that he didn't think he'd have the time. [The Sun]
• Gwyneth Paltrow didn't join Chris Martin at any of the Grammy after-parties, so he found another chick to hang out with instead. [NYDN]
• The Chris Brown-Rihanna situation has taken a turn for the worse. Rihanna's injuries are reportedly "horrific," and include bite marks, facial contusions, and a bloody nose. Brown has hired attorney Mark Geragos to defend him. Both stars have cancelled upcoming appearances. And Brown's Doublemint gum ad has already been pulled. [People, TMZ, NYP]

Soderbergh's insane Cleo delayed. Damn you, Brad Pitt. [Variety]

Pictured, part of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's family (the Havana Pee-Wee-League girls' softball team had a championship game in Santa Domingo) as they arrive at Japan's Narita International Airport for a promotional press tour.

Everyone's experimenting with a new crowd: Katie Holmes hangs with the bad boys; Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie try a new neighborhood and Gene Roddenberry's remains enter a whole other orbit.

• Is Jennifer Aniston planning to steal the spotlight away from Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie at the Oscars by showing up to the ceremony with John Mayer and with a ring on her finger? Maybe! [Star]
• Alex Rodriguez either spent last weekend hanging out with Madonna at Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld's East Hampton mansion, or he spent it partying with Bill Clinton and Spike Lee in the Bahamas, depending on what you read. [P6, NYDN]
• Lindsay Lohan's rep says LiLo can't be anorexic since she "ate two full meals" during a recent photo shoot. It's settled! [P6]
• Gwyneth Paltrow's mom says 800 people have already joined her daughter's Tribeca gym, which hasn't even been finished yet. [NYDN]

Or, you know, she's back on drugs or cutting or something. Her arms are all scratched up. She's tried to hide it with long sleeves, but people have still noticed.

• Lizzie Grubman gave birth to another son yesterday. Little Jack arrived ahead of schedule, though, which must be wreaking havoc on Lizzie's weekend plans. [P6]
• Larry King lost "more than $1 million" to Bernie Madoff. And some sources say Madoff is now contending with some "serious" health issues. [P6]
• Tom Cruise is undergoing an image makeover so he can win back female fans. This will reportedly prohibit him from wearing sunglasses on the red carpet, getting grabby with Katie Holmes, or lecturing TV hosts on psychiatric medications. [Star]

Did something about Eric Roth's screenplay for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button remind you of an earlier success of his called Forrest Gump? You're not alone.

If you have a sec this afternoon, could you say a little prayer for Mario Cantone? The man has a dream, and if there's anything the election of Barack Obama has taught us, it's that big, bold dreams occasionally do come true: "In the [Sex and the City] sequel, I want Brad Pitt to play my boyfriend! Why not? He gave $100,000 to turn over the California gay marriage law. So, there! He should play my boyfriend." [NYO]

There are only two months left before Angelina Jolie arrives in New York to begin filming Edwin A. Salt—the shooting will take place in Bethpage on Long Island—which means it's officially time to begin guessing where Jolie, Brad Pitt and family will live while Jolie earns her big, fat paycheck. The most promising contender: The Sassafras estate in Lloyd Neck, which has three separate houses on 48 acres of land and also comes with two helipads, tennis court, pool, and private cove with dock. It's up for sale for $60 million; no word (yet) on how much it will go for as a rental. In the meantime, you can have a look at the property Jolie & Co. might occupy after the jump.

It's true! The Yankees player Alex Rodriguez, who like teammate Derek Jeter sucks very much, was seen canoodling with actress Kate Hudson at an underground Manhattan fish restaurant.

• One of Martha Stewart's former "prison pals" says she recently approached the domestic diva for help with her medical bills and all she got in return was an autographed photo. So now she's making money the old-fashioned way: She's spilling details on Martha's time behind bars to the National Enquirer. [NE]
• Speed the Plow's backers say they've had Jeremy Piven tested for mercury poisoning by a second doctor, and may sue him if the results come back negative. [NYP]
• Nevan Donahue, Olivia Palermo's annoying cousin and a regular on The City, was busted for trying to pick up a prostitute in Palm Beach in 2007, and has a warrant out for his arrest. [P6]