The studio fatwa prohibiting early reviews of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button has ended, it seems, with Variety leading the critical charge online late Sunday. Prepare to be shocked by the general consensus: It's good, and will surely be nominated for Oscars! Who could have seen this coming? Nevertheless, the film has its detractors, and we hear from them — along with those slobbering at its altar — after the jump. (Light spoilers ahead.)· "David Fincher and screenwriter Eric Roth (Forrest Gump) have delivered an historic achievement, a masterful piece of cinema, and a moving treatise on death, loss, loneliness and love. As the movie proceeds, and Brad Pitt as Button ages backwards, we know where he is headed: it's where we are all going. But he feels he has to go there by himself, without his loved ones. And nobody wants to die alone." — Anne Thompson, Variety · "Perhaps it’s my youthful cynicism, who knows, but I thought Fincher brought an arm’s length approach to the emotions in the film and I wanted Roth’s reaction to that. Of course, Roth doesn’t particularly agree with my take. Indeed, he was right in the middle of telling me how the bathroom was filled with sobbers after the screening when a beautiful young lady walked up to us and told him how much the movie had affected her. But he took my comment in stride. 'Fincher is the kind of director that brings you right up to the point of sentiment and then brings it back,' he said. 'There’s something to be said for that I think.' " — Kris Tapley, InContention

Jennifer Aniston's face adorns the cover of this week's New York Times Magazine. Despite her current remarks in the interview therein about how annoying it is when people take camera phone pictures of her and sell them to feed their family, Ms. Aniston would like to reassure you that she loves images of herself as much as you do. After all, she's done photo shoots with about 8,000 magazines this month, most of which have already folded. Is she a hypocrite? We'll give her a break, and let the author of The Rules give her some helpful advice about dealing with her anger:Despite posing for Vogue and every other magazine imaginable, Aniston only likes it when the mainstream media profits for her image, as she relates in the NYT interview:

It really is about time psychologists gave a name to whatever personality disorder Angelina Jolie suffers from, because "narcissistic control freak with a Mother Teresa complex" (see also: Princess Diana, Mia Farrow) is a bit of a mouthful. Anyway, Angie must have pissed off someone at the Times, because today the paper does a mild hatchet job on her, raking over various details that we already knew: She micro-manages all aspects of her tabloid interviews especially her coverage in People; she supposedly doesn't employ a publicist or agent; she and Brad make a big song and dance about giving the proceeds of their media deals to charity, but only a small slice seems to reach the beneficiaries; and, most importantly, when that bitch Jennifer Aniston is winning the hearts and minds of US Weekly readers, all Ang has to is don a headscarf, be photographed helping the tragedy-stricken in a third world country, and she's back in the game.

As a member of the vaunted Time Inc. magazine empire, People has always stood a cut or two above most celebrity magazines, ethically speaking. But Angelina Jolie is "scary smart," in the words of celeb-mag editor Bonnie Fuller, and the actress seems to have had little trouble corrupting People's soul. Set aside the now-common practice of paying for baby pictures. Judging from a Times exposé, Jolie also banished the word "Brangelina" from People's pages, dictated coverage of her charitable work in Cambodia and won from People the "positive" tone she demanded. She seems to have pulled this off with a little editor-source dance that gave People plausible deniability.

A man as famous as Brad Pitt is accustomed to enjoying a comfortable buffer between himself and any Jane Q. Psychotic with a Skype account. So when Oprah Winfrey ambushed him on today's broadcast with—delight of delights!—highly specific questions regarding his various Brangelina tribal markings from a flesh-curious fan on internet video phone, it's not entirely surprising that his reaction involved sweaty palms, fidgety body language, and lateral pupil vibration. Watch him squirm as he politely defers at first, then finally cuts Creepalina off as she launches into her description of the part of his body she probably thinks would make the best handbag. [Oprah]

♦ Is Kate Hudson trying to steal Alex Rodriguez away from Madonna? She was spotted with her "arms completely wrapped around" him at a party in Miami this weekend. But she might just be trying to steal Jason Statham away from his girlfriend, since the two were seen downing dirty martinis together. [NYDN, P6]
♦ A PETA activist pelted Lindsay Lohan with a bag of flour at an event in Paris on Saturday. Sam Ronson responded by dissing the activist on MySpace: "My dog is far more civilized than that person." [People]
♦ Kanye West was arrested in London on Friday after an altercation with a photographer. Now he's suggesting the entire episode was "bogus," and has upset some Brits by comparing himself to Princess Di. [People, The Sun]
♦ Sarah Palin may collect a $7 million advance if she writes a book. [MSNBC]

With hazmat-suited Harpo workers running Geiger counters over Jennifer Aniston on her way out of the Oprah Winfrey Show studios and failing to find even the slightest traces of irradiated uncoolness, we thought we were finally in the clear with regard to the deadly sexual politics meltdown to contaminate America's superstar love triangles. Alas, a new uncool hot spot has been identified in the Brangelina household, where Aniston-dumping Brad Pitt is reportedly fuming over his ex's totally uncool calling out of his current partner's uncoolness:

• Brad Pitt said it was uncool for ex Jennifer Aniston to say his wife Angelina Jolie is uncool. Or, as he puts it, he was "totally thrown." [Sun-Times ]

It had to happen: Whispers are speeding out of previews of The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Revolutionary Road, leaving Paramount behind a breached embargo wall and knee-deep in mixed buzz for the former and generally glowing praise for the latter. Surely the studio's shrieking winged attack flacks are sniffing the most direct trail to the leakers' (mostly anonymous) domains, so make their sacrifices worth it! Hear the early word after the jump.The first Button item we saw was submitted by an "industry spy"; if it was published by anyone other that Anne Thompson, we'd assume it was just a publicity intern practicing her press-note chops:

At last, after having nothing but a meager pile of magazine clippings and hearsay to rely upon throughout this entire ordeal, we have Jennifer Aniston in the flesh to set us straight on what Angelina Jolie's adoptive people have already dubbed L'affair uncool. On trusted confidante (who doesn't mind spilling your private business on America's TVs for her own ratings gain) Oprah Winfrey's show today, the host hoisted a Post-It-littered Vogue bearing the five words heard round the world. It was a coverline so powerful, it managed to push Obama off the front page of the NY Times, who instead ran a 30-pt headline that read, "Amid a Climate of Hope, Tensions Between Warring Starlets Flare." In her trademark stammer, the former Friends star it admits she indeed said, "What Angelina did was very uncool," but it was just one of many responses she answered "as honestly as I could. I don't go there. I mean, it's 100 years old, for Christ's sake." If ever we wanted a girl to go, it was Aniston, at that moment. [Oprah]

We can tell by your reactions to Jennifer Aniston's recent Vogue indictment of Angelina Jolie (e.g. "She needs to build a bridge and get over it") that there remains plenty of demand for Aniston to swing away at her spouse-snatching archnemesis. So off she went to visit Oprah Winfrey, who, in an interview to be broadcast later today, wouldn't let Aniston out of the studio without claiming her own stake of the fuss. Hint: That bridge may be on the way! To Pitt, anyway:

♦ Remember last month when Gwyneth Paltrow said she was trying to be supportive of her good friend Madonna during her divorce? It seems Madge was less than moved by the gesture and now she's warning Gwyneth to keep her mouth shut and "say nothing about me or my divorce." [National Enquirer]
♦ Meanwhile, Madonna has supposedly been telling a "close pal" that Alex Rodriguez sends her poetry and "has the heart of a poet trapped inside an insanely gorgeous body." [P6]
♦ Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson are supposedly planning to "officially get engaged" while they're in Paris this week. [The Sun]
♦ Now that she's back from London (where she reportedly brought 20 pieces of luggage on a three-day trip), Mariah Carey is supposedly organizing her holiday vacation to Aspen, where her plans include rolling around in the snow in a red bikini and decorating her bedroom to look like the North Pole. [MSNBC, The Sun, P6]

• Jennifer Aniston has an "unbelievably warm and respectful" relationship with ex-husband Brad Pitt, but that skank new wife of his? Who recently told the Times she and Pitt fell in love on the Mr. & Miss Smith set, while he was still married to Aniston? She's a piece of work. "That stuff about how she couldn't wait to get to work every day? That was really uncool."

♦ Jennifer Aniston is finally speaking out about her breakup with Brad Pitt. In the December issue of Vogue, she says what Angelina Jolie did was "really uncool," and that she had no idea that Brad had cheated on her until she read about it afterwards. [MSNBC, NYP]
♦ The security guard who roughed-up Brad Pitt at the premiere of his own movie on Monday night says he was only trying to protect Brad by helping him get away from a pack of aggressive photographers. [ET, NYP]
♦ Madonna is supposedly considering a career as a movie director so she can "rival" her ex, Guy Ritchie, at least according to her nutty brother Christopher Ciccone. She should have more time to pursue a directing career if she chooses to: Officials in Malawi have said she can "forget" about adopting another baby as long as she plans to bring it into a "broken home." [The Sun, MSNBC]
♦ Billy Ray Cyrus says he is trying to get Malia and Sasha Obama to appear in an episode of Hannah Montana. [NYDN]

Despite recent complaints around the Web asking why Paramount hadn't yet issued a one-sheet for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, the studio has in fact delivered the poster to theaters. And what an effort it is, with the pores of Brad Pitt's face blown up to nickel-size and every word but the release date printed backwards in tribute to its namesake's reverse chronology. Or maybe the first run was messed up and simply displayed last night at the Bruin just in case a confused security guard didn't recognize the leading man. Or perhaps the whole thing is just deliberate ploy to attract the disaffected, backwards-face-carving youth contingent. Click through for the full-size paparazzi image. [X17 Online]

We already know Jennifer Aniston thinks Angelina Jolie's spouse-theft is the very picture of "uncool." But a little context couldn't hurt in understanding the true depth of Aniston's lingering antipathy over her split from Brad Pitt — like that whole part about Jolie's "detailed timeline" of their illicit courtship on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith? Definitely uncool, says Aniston:

So, have you heard that Jaden Smith, son of mega movie star Will, is going to be the next Karate Kid? Yeah, they're rebooting that old franchise—about street tough kids getting lessons in fightin' and thinkin' from mystical Asians—as a star vehicle for the kiddie. Sure, he's already starred (with Pa) in The Pursuit of Happy[sic]ness and has a role in the upcoming The Day The Earth Stood Still. But, the savvy tyke he is, Jaden's booked himself in the update of an iconic role that can shake off the simple title of "Will Smith's Kid." Now he'll be, well, "that new Karate Kid." He's not the first celeb spawn to go into the industry, and he won't be the last teetering into the fray to ditch associations with their famous folks. So who's next?? Who will be the next children of celebrities to hurl themselves in front of the camera in search of non-genetic fame? We'll take a look at some other famey babies after the jump and cast them in ideal (read: fake) break-out roles!

The only thing more stunning to us than learning The Curious Case of Benjamin Button screened last night for the first time, like, ever, was that Brad Pitt himself dropped by to have a look at the Bruin Theater. It wasn't much of a secret to the hundred or so paparazzi to 24/7 Pitt detail, but a security guard working the screening did not get that memo, accosting the star and his pap trail in the theater lobby. Would peace prevail, or would the War of Westwood be the first of many bitter obstacles to befall Button's path to Oscar? The pictures tell the story after the jump.

As if slow-motion footage of filmdom's most adorable puppy wasn't enough to make you race to see Jennifer Aniston's holiday movie season entry Marley & Me, the star has Phase 2 of the film's heart-tugging marketing campaign set to launch any day now. And we hear it's a good one, too, with new promotional partner Vogue signing on for Aniston's first public thwacking of husband-stealing Angelina Jolie.The Daily Mail reports that Vogue's December issue features cover girl Aniston posing along with the quote, "What Angelina did was very uncool" — one of the decade's more reserved understatements, no doubt, coming almost four years after Jolie's trysts with her Mr. and Mrs. Smith co-star Brad Pitt led to his and Aniston's divorce. The rest is clan-breeding, burger-photographing history, but an insider says Vogue will do what it can next month to restore Aniston's pride:

♦ Guy Ritchie met up with sons David and Rocco in London yesterday for the first time since October, but only after agreeing to follow a list of rules issued by Madonna, which included no new friends, no fast food, no newspapers, and no TV. [Us, Mirror]
♦ Back in the US, Madonna supposedly threw an "intimate dinner party" at her apartment so she could introduce Alex Rodriguez to a group of her friends. [Mirror]
♦ One week after Tim Robbins experienced a few problems trying to cast his vote in the presidential election, officials now say they pinpointed the issue: Robbins turned up at the wrong polling location, which he might have known if he'd bothered to vote in the mid-term elections. [NYDN, P6]