You'd think that Dan and Jack would be no match for a catsuit-clad female assassin, but fortunately, their bumbling incompetence is the last thing this professional hit-woman expects out of an adversary.

Where I come from, back before the term "cougar" entered the common parlance, we referred to such animals as "barracudas," so I was thrilled to hear The Good Guys punctuate this specimen's arrival with that particular song from Heart.

If your summer television schedule is devoid of buddy cop comedies, here's a show to consider. Colin Hanks is the straight man, Bradley Whitford is the crazy guy and expect a rotating cast of weird criminals.

• Rihanna is expected to speak about her alleged beating by Chris Brown for the first time this afternoon when she takes the witness stand at a preliminary hearing in Los Angeles. [NYDN, NYP]
• Both Katie Lee Joel and her rumored paramour, designer Yigal Azrouel, continue to deny reports that an affair ended Lee's marriage to Billy Joel. But Azrouel seems to have a rep for being something of a ladies man: He's "been known to sleep with fashion editors who can help his career." [P6]
• Sarah Jessica Parker was pulled over in the Hamptons. The trooper told her that her lights were off; she turned them on; and all ended well. Yay. [P6]

The infamous Vogue editrix loses her party planner, House as a tranny-nun, Governator Ahnold's real-life action sequence, a sad Hollywood divorce, midgets, gays, nerdy Jews, scary Americans, more Gossip Girl action, and Gary Busey. Presenting your Saturday morning Gossip Roundup: