So magician David Copperfield is under investigation by the FBI for raping a woman in the Bahamas, where he owns a couple islands (one of which has the fountain of youth!). In the last week or so, lots of creepy details about his typical methods of "seduction" have come to light. He or his people would mark the scantily clad girls to come on stage during the show, he'd ask them to meet him backstage, then he'd ask if they like the Bahamas—and who doesn't! So as someone rapidly developing a reputation as an all-around creep who might be a bit rapey, it's time Copperfield got serious. Like by hiring Mike Sitrick! Sitrick, who repped Paris Hilton after the jail thing, has long done great work for sketchy dudes, like supermarket billionaire Ron Burkle and "Girls Gone Wild" king and America's BFF Joe Francis. So Copperfield's in good company!

The New York Times bought About.com from Primedia in 2005. The site, a tedious network of "experts," is an entirely separate business division. How's that working out? Well, here's a picture from Flushing's Main Street of what the New York Times has named the best new burger in Queens! Oh, wait, what's that apostrophe and that hard-to-see black print? Ohhh. It's the best new burger in Queens according to "The New York Times' About.com." Yeesh. It's just not good for the esteemed brand when search engine consultant and Queens About.com guide John Roleke can get put on par with Times food critics. (Though who knows! Maybe Mr. Roleke is an untapped genius resource with a brilliant palate!)