In response to hedge fund Starboard Value's scathing 300-page slideshow about everything from the size of the carb kingdom's asparagus to the lack of salted water for their pasta, Olive Garden released a relatively concise report of their own. In 24 pages, the restaurant basically says, "Hey, man, we're in the business of providing Italian generosity, capisce? You pickin' up what we're puttin' down?"