An alleged burglar was arrested as many as five days after sneaking into a New Jersey family’s house this spring when the homeowner heard a noise and found the intruder hiding under his daughter’s bed, WABC reports.

A Seattle couple returned to their condo Wednesday night to find it completely torn apart. Clothes and electronics were strewn all over the bed, their junk mail had been all been opened, and a can of paint had been poured over the toilet. "It was just trashed," Bridget O'Neill told Vocativ.

It seems like we only manage to check in with Nicolas Cage under extremely weird circumstances, like Transylvanian real estate transactions and visits to Japanese cooking shows, so it's with a measure of relief that we bring you the comparatively mundane story of the naked guy he found prancing around his house in one of his leather jackets: