Chinese cinema-goers looking to draw Kate Winslet like one of their French girls will have to do so from memory, after the state censored her nude scene in the 2012 Titanic re-release.

The recipient of the world's first silicone breast implants is and was a total bad-ass. Here are some facts about her from the BBC News Magazine's A Brief History of Breast Enlargements:

For years, the advertising industry has wrestled with a fundamental, metaphysical question: can images of breasts be used to sell things? The investigation continues.

Last week, rage-tastic The Fighter director David O. Russell was doing "abdominal exercises" with his 19-year-old transgender niece and "asked questions about her transformation." Then, according to TMZ, this happened:

News 9 weatherman Ashton Altieri must have practiced congratulating his colleague Corey Rose on a major victory by her beloved Indiana team a dozen times: Great job by the Hoosiers, Corey. Be specific Congratulations on the big win by the Hoosiers, Corey. Make it more personal. Congratulations to your Hoosiers, Corey. I got this. Congratulations on your big win, Corey. Hoosiers. Congratulations on your big Hoosiers win, Corey. I'm gonna do great. Hoosiers. I'm a star. Let's roll camera.

Holly Van Voast (pictured, center) is a woman with a bold name and an equally bold cause: breasts, breasts, breasts. Holly Van Voast's breasts, specifically. In public! In a courtroom! Breasts everywhere, for all!

From Pravda, the story of a Moscow woman who was stabbed in the heart by her husband, but whose silicone breast implants absorbed the blade, preventing her from dying. Fake tits save lives.

To prove just how rich and famous and European she is, Kate Moss is currently on vacation in the south of France and jumped off a yacht—topless. Over there, it's nothing major, but in puritanical America this is horribly scandalous. Toplessness! In public! How dare you!

As you would expect, the hottest business story on Long Island right now is the ongoing rivalry between traditional breast-ogling wings bar Hooters and its upstart rival, Canz. The gross patriarchal undertones are being analyzed in typical Long Island fashion.

Breast exams! Einstein proof! Whisky power! Hair stratagems! Osteoporosis fracture! Baby obesity! Old plants! Healthy barbecues! And the mysterious mind of mankind! It's your Thursday Science Watch, where we watch science—or whatever you call it!

This morning, KLG and Hoda took a little time to reflect on the power of breasts—and the effect they have on the career of an actress. Just wait until Kathie Lee mentions how Kim Kardashian is "milking it."

Breast cancer shocker! Gum healthiness! Lonely exercising! Teen girl suicide! Young strokes! Egg cholesterol! Diet soda heart attack! Baby obesity! And L.A.'s official guide to ecstasy! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—while rolling, in the official style!

This firsthand account of getting a boob job in Bangkok is awfully harrowing.

Apparently, Top Chef host/supermodel/ex-wife of Salman Rushdie Padma Lakshmi has a jewelry line. As this one-minute commercial for the line shows, however, it appears Lakshmi's greatest selling point isn't her necklace, but what her necklace rests on. (Boobs.) Watch inside.

Click to viewHouston's Sheyla Hershey broke the world record with her size 38KKK breasts. The Brazillian "model" has had 30 breast augmentations, and the most recent one might be the one that kills her or causes her to lose her prized possessions.

Robot seal! Weed drugs! Dense breasts! Fat guts! Cartoon food! Chewing ice! And dogs with wondrous magical powers! It's your Monday Health Watch, where we watch your health—anthropomorphically!

Yay Virginia! They love the Confederacy, and hate boobs. Well, they love boobs, just not official boobs. The state's easily grossed-out attorney general, Ken Cuccinelli, recently covered up a boob on the state seal in the name of "virtue."

Breasts-in-the-media news: former NY1 reporter Adele Sammarco "loved to talk about her boobs," according to court coverage by our city's trashiest tabloid. But! Sammarco is suing NY1 over alleged boob-related harassment. What else have we learned about boobs today?

Heaving, bulbous bosoms—of doom. That is what America and, indeed, the world is facing, in the alternate universe where terrorists with plastic explosive breast implants threaten airline safety. Also, butt bomb implants. Please let this be real.

The only thing stopping The Grey Lady from getting totally felt up this weekend must've been a particularly adamant copy editor. This weekend, the Times introduced us to a "lactation consultant." Naturally, a few fourth-grade level "har har" moments followed.