Tom Hanks rejoiced in his green-room tray; Brian Caufield frantically defended his lunch truck; and Owen Thomas carefully nurtured his new ironic catchphrase. The Twitterati protected their precioussss.

Ever feel like hurling an uncooperative laptop across the room? Then you can imagine how Forbes' Brian Caulfield felt when his notebook crashed during a Steve Jobs keynote. And why the computer's vengeful owner took it to a gun range.

Looks like we have some competition for tracking the media elite's bleat-replete tweets! Our competitive edge: We bring you the very worst of the Twitterati. Today's targets:

The shipments of whatever Apple intends to unleash on the world June 9 continue unabated. Electronic device manufacturer Quanta, which builds products such as the Apple iMac, has had pallet after pallet of shipments arriving from Taiwan, only to be shuttled onto FedEx and other ground carrier trucks for destinations unknown — at the rate of three or more every twenty minutes. Forbes reporter Brian Caulfield was on the scene yesterday, and says that stacks and stacks of boxes were overflowing into the parking lot.

Forbes.com's Brian Caulfield has scored the magazine's latest cover story, a profile of graphics chipmaker Nvidia. Quite a coup, especially for a writer whose personal manner is so unassuming. But we wonder if some repressed aspects of his personality are starting to come out in recent headlines.