America's own War on Drugs™ is so well documented to the point of self-parody, but what of our ancestral progenitors across the pond? They are all snorting a lot of coke. So much, it would appear, that scientists in the UK say its found its way into the water supply:

Daily Mail has latest in British people waking up weird: "George Michael Quit Cannabis After Waking from Coma Speaking in West Country Accent." That's a damn good headline, even if you have no idea what a West Country accent sounds like.

The average British person is too drunk to know how drunk he is.

While we've all been wringing our hands while trapped over here on this "side of the pond" (Atlantic Ocean) worrying about if and when the second dip of the Double Dip Recession With No Fucking Sprinkles™ would arrive, that clever old recession was slinking "across the pond" (Atlantic Ocean) to rear its ugly, stupid, money-sucking head in "Jolly" (not so jolly now I bet, ha) Olde Englande. From the NYT:

The dead horse beaters of the British Royal Family decided to put the dress Kate Middleton wore for her wedding to Prince William on display. It will be on view to the public at Buckingham Palace this summer starting July 23. You, too, can see the Alexander McQueen gown, tiara, shows, and jewelry the newly-minted Duchess of Cambridge wore for the $29 entrance fee. It's a good thing they put up this exhibit, because no one has seen the dress and there are so few pictures taken of it.

Last week, the GOOP-itrix herself, Gwyneth Paltrow, appeared on the Graham Norton Show (which is like The Tonight Show if Jay Leno was Irish, gay, and actually funny). She rapped. Yes, she did the first few lines of the NWA classic "Straight out of Compton."

Our slutty sister site Fleshbot published some shirtless (and pantless!) photos of Kate Middleton's sexy younger brother, James, earlier this week. Then they got some emails from a lawyer demanding Fleshbot take the images down. But it wasn't a real lawyer, it turns out. It seems it was James pretending to be a lawyer.

A new study commissioned by British Prime Minister David Cameron to protect children from seeing inappropriate images on television will suggest that no gay kisses be shown on television before the 9pm "watershed." But where will our young ones get their same-sex snogging?

One British online gambling firm, Sportingbet, has reached a $33 million settlement with the U.S. government. Another, Betfair, is preparing to float its stock on the London Stock Exchange. So get gambling! If you're a Brit, or an investment banker.

Harvard is no longer the world's best university, according to a British ranking system. Instead, Cambridge, in England, is the world's best university, according to these British people and their very British set of standards.

Supastar British street artist Banksy is still nominally anonymous, despite a handful of (probable) photos of him floating around. And then there's this video of Banksy (we think) disguised as a hippie, heckling Prince Charles about weed.

Larry King's last day on his CNN show has been pushed back from October until the end of the year because his presumed replacement, Brit Piers Morgan, is having visa issues. Well, maybe if they stopped giving away American jobs...

Starting tomorrow, if you visit BBC.com instead of BBC.co.uk, you will find a new website with "U.S.-focused articles on politics and general news," helmed by 10 journalists in DC. First they ruin our ocean, now they compete with our newspapers.

The Ritz-Carlton hotel in Naples, Florida is facing a lawsuit from a veteran waiter in the hotel's restaurant, who says he was barred from serving some racist customers because he was black. Who's to blame here? Brits, naturally.

Somali pirates have kidnapped this friendly-looking British couple as they sailed their yacht off the East African coast. This has a very "UK Version of When The Navy SEALS Killed Those Somali Pirates" feel. Pirates: Please re-read this. [Pic via]

Felix Dennis is publishing's wild man! How is the former Maxim publisher and admitted (then hastily retracted!) murderer keeping himself busy these days?

Vaguely annoying Brit writer and Top Chef judge Toby Young was hit by a car while riding his bike in London last week, but he's going to be okay. Here, his busted head. [Toby's blog]

The House just passed a bill to return most of the ill-gotten AIG bonus money to taxpayers. But the most guilty villains are in London, immune from our silly laws, laughing at us.

Former newspaper mogul and current jailed columnist Conrad Black says that Michael Wolff's book about Rupert Murdoch was all wrong, and furthermore, that Conrad Black is a heroic innocent man:

Wall Street Journal editor Robert Thomson is continuing to reshape the post-Murdoch version of the paper in his own image. In the wake of an early October reshuffling of editors, Thomson sent another top editor to lead the London bureau a few weeks ago, in a clear push to try to expand the paper's international prestige. And today Thomson told the staff that Gerard Baker is the new Deputy Editor-In-Chief of the WSJ and Dow Jones—and, like Thomson himself, Baker is veteran of the Times of London and the FT. Taste the international flavor. The full memo introducing Baker to the staff is below: