You know Judith Regan for being a prolific former book publisher publisher and notably scandalous success. Tonight, she went to our friend Patti Stanger for a love fix, a dream date who can compare to her celebrity crush... Bruce Vilanch.

Child Services storms Chateau Jackson when Jermaine's kid puts Blanket's life in peril. Megan Fox announces she's only slept with two men. Jolie and Franco are shoo-ins for based-on-a-true-story suicidal artist roles. Wednesday gossip is full of surprises.

Elle creative director (and regular on The City) Joe Zee turns 41 today. Senator Chuck Schumer is turning 59. Miley Cyrus is 17. Good Morning America's Robin Roberts is turning 49. Director and screenwriter James Toback is 65, as is Basic Instinct and Showgirls writer Joe Eszterhas. Sen. Mary Landrieu of Louisiana turns 54. Former Lazard chief Michel David-Weill is 77. TV chef Rick Bayless turns 55. Defense attorney Gary Naftalis is turning 68. Filmmaker Robert Towne is 75. Psychiatrist and author Keith Ablow is turning 48. Comedy writer Bruce Vilanch is 61. And child soldier-turned-bestselling author Ishmael Beah is 29 today.

PrivacyWatch celebrity sightings are submitted by our millions of Defamer operatives. We'd like to remind you that this feature is powered by you, so if you want to see more installments of PrivacyWatch, then all you've got to do is to send us your sightings. Submit yours to tips[AT]defamer.com (please put "sighting" or "PrivacyWatch" in the subject line so we don't lose them) and tell everyone about the time you saw NPH getting all sweaty during a workout. In today's installment: Neil Patrick Harris, Woody Allen, Matthew McConaughey, Brian Grazer, Blake Lively, Pierce Brosnan, Christian Slater, Chris Noth, Jason Lee, Jenny Lewis, John Rzeznik, Dave Navarro, Mark McGrath, Dyan Cannon, Camryn Manheim, Bruce Vilanch and more!WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 6 · I was at the Arsenal in Los Angeles last night and saw (HOT)MIKE BORTONE (Survivor), PAMELA ALDON ( I remember her from Grease 2, but now on Californication and King of the Hill) and LIZA SNYDER (Yes, Please). They looked like they were having a great time, drinking & laughing & hanging out with a bunch of fun people. At one point I thought Liza & Pamela were going to get up & dance with the DJ's, but no luck. Good Times. THURSDAY, AUGUST 7 · Saw BLAKE LIVELY at Urth Cafe in Beverly Hills. Amazingly, she mistook ME for one of her friends and stopped me as I walked by and said, "Hello." She realized her error and was very sweet in apologizing. She's as pretty in person as she is on TV. · DYAN CANNON — all 90lbs of her — managed to waft/ tremble/ stumble into my abs class today at Equinox. I thought to myself, "Oh my god, that woman looks like the gorgeous Dyan Cannon, star of my all-time favorite and underrated Al Pacino movie Author! Author! But it can't be her because her surgically enhanced lips are bigger than my ass." While the instructor yelled at us during the "reverse crunch" series ("this targets LBF, people! Lower Back Fat! Nothing attractive about that!"), I determined that it was indeed her. Her body is 15, most of her face is 35, but her lips are just...wow. A very bad decision. Sort of criminal, really, that some surgeon would go through with that. Someone should hire her for something—but first demand she gets rid of the trout pout. · I saw WOODY ALLEN & SOON YI today at MOCA. He does not at all try to hide the fact that he's looking at you. Definitely a people watcher. SATURDAY, AUGUST 8 · While at the Eddie Izzard show at the Kodak, I spotted a very cheery CAMRYN MANHEIM. I always expect her to be in a foul mood but she seemed open and, dare I say, bubbly. As I was waiting for the show to start I felt the cold wave of hack comedy wash over the crowd. As I turn around, I see a T-shirt with a hacky comment and the unmistakable bleached bowl-cut of BRUCE VILANCH entering the room. Watching Izzard perform, Vilanch must have felt like a midget trying to guard Shaq. Hopefully it made him realize he should quit the business and leave the hackiness to butchers, golfers, and Dane Cook. SUNDAY, AUGUST 10 · I saw JOHN RZEZNIK of the Goo Goo Dolls getting his Polish on at Warszawa in Santa Monica. He was with some appropriately punk looking pals, pretty cool, having his pierogi. MONDAY, AUGUST 11 · It was the day of hot rocker boys of the 90’s at Equinox on Sunset. Saw DAVE NAVARRO and MARK MCGRATH. Dave’s always there, so that might not be much of a sighting. Mark got approached by some overeager fangirls and looked a bit confused, then scurried away. TUESDAY, AUGUST 12 · It was a celebrity smorgasbord at Nobu (Malibu) around 8:30pm: BRIAN GRAZER, PIERCE BROSNAN (looking fantastic!), CHRISTIAN SLATER (not so much) and MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY (the usual). They were not all together as that would be just plain weird. WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 13 · Driving home from work last night (13 Aug) I passed MIA MICHAELS (So You Think You Can Dance) heading in the opposite direction (west - natch!) on the Santa Monica Blvd. at the Van Ness intersection. She drives something big and Jeep-like and black. Naughty lady was at the wheel and using her cellphone. Brazenly! But then, as we all know, celebs are above the law. · While waiting outside of my chiropractors office...I see CHRIS NOTH (aka, BIG) come out of "Miss Barry's Bootcamp". He was shirtless and glistening all over (having just finished being tortured by "Miss"). Anyway, he was very nice and did not seem to mind people checking him out (nice bod for an over 50 man). Needless to say my tiny little life got a lot bigger for a second. · It was a celebrity paradox at Poquito Mas on Cahuenga. First, we see a scruffy yet sexy JASON LEE eating with his son PILOT. He seemed like a typical father with him, very sweet, taking him to the bathroom, making sure he had enough nachos, etc. He had a FULL beard (Jason Lee, not the kid), but it kind of worked on him. Then, just minutes later, an absolutely adorable JENNY LEWIS walked in with a pal. They looked like two sweet high school girls. She and Jason Lee made the awkward "I'm famous and you're famous and we are kind of Silver Lakey-Eastsider cool" nod to each other and I couldn't help but think that they would be an adorable couple. A little too cool for school though, perhaps... THURSDAY, AUGUST 14 · NEIL PATRICK HARRIS and DAVID WALTON (from Quarterlife) are working up a sweat (separately) at Equinox on Sunset.

Out of consideration for another boring-ass, unkillable civic ritual, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences will push back its 2008 Oscar nomination announcement to Jan. 22, 2009 — two days after the presidential inauguration in Washington, D.C. The quadrennial event apparently has a century-and-a-half of media seniority over the Oscars, thus giving the Academy little choice but to bump its usual Tuesday press conference to Thursday. But wait — it gets worse.

Due to an arcane by-law in the WGA constitution, no strike can officially be called off until one the Guild's longest-tenured and most visible members appears on television to ritualistically recite the story of Lew Wasserman's Toilet, in which the legendary Hollywood mogul supposedly dismissed the idea of paying residuals by saying, "My plumber doesn't charge me each time I flush the toilet." Thankfully, comedian and tenured Oscar gag-writer Bruce Vilanch completed this curious formality earlier today on CNN, allowing the rest of the strike-cancellation process to proceed as scheduled.

Thanks to comedian/longtime Oscar gag-writer Bruce Vilanch's new online effort* in support of the WGA, we now know exactly what we stand to lose if the strike drags on long enough to disrupt the Academy Awards: the kind of timelessly uproarious Monica Lewinsky jokes that have tens of millions of movie-loving TV viewers falling off their couches decade after decade. *UPDATE/CLARIFICATION: Vilanch's publicist informs us that the comic has nothing to do with the brucestrikes site, which has apparently been set up by a cruel "punker." We imagine that the hunt for the culprit will begin with AMPTP president Nick Counter, who might be masterminding a wave of prank sites to undermine the resolve of his WGA enemies by attacking their slogan-writing abilities. [brucestrikes.com]