The media is in a wellness bubble.

The longer we go without a major financial crisis, the more tempting it becomes for the billionaire investors to jump in with their wager that the next crisis is coming soon. Another master of the universe has officially jumped onto the “doom is at hand” train.

Who is this tiny reptilian hero? This real-world Bubble Bobbler? According to owner Nick DeBakey, her name is Laura.

After years of searching for the next financial bubble that will pop and leave little but empty wallets, broken dreams, and suicidal investors in its wake, it appears we have actually found it!

The financial markets have been on the rise for the past six years. That can only mean that doom is around the corner. What financial bubble is waiting to pop, and destroy us? Today: biotech stocks.

The American economy is booming, for the most part! That means that it is constantly a good time to worry about which part of the economy will collapse first. Today: shitty bonds?

What's that? What's this? Sweet bubbles to be caught with your little mouth!

"It's almost the weekend," you're probably thinking to yourself. You're so excited. But not as excited as this fucking bubble-loving pitbull.

Economic indicators and financial markets go up, and they go down. Sometimes they get really big, and then they collapse. What is the latest bubble? Perhaps.. the fear of bubbles itself.

The genus Selfie of the family Narcissus contains many species. There is the Selfie brunch and the Selfie drunk. There's the Selfie nail game, the Selfie duck face, and the Selfie humblebrag. But naturalists have only just begun to study a fascinating new breed, the fruit of a tremendous technological innovation in the field of getting baked: the Selfie vape.

Vice Media, a company that sells cool kids to corporations for marketing purposes and does good journalism on the side, is a legitimately profitable business. Makes a lot of cash. But is Vice really worth one jillion skillion bazillion dollars? Hmm...

Well, this is terrifying.

The Great Recession of five years ago scared many Americans. Now that the Wall Street economy is booming again, many have rushed to warn against irrational exuberance. The common media practice of always staying one step ahead of conventional wisdom is now producing an Anti-Bubble Bubble.

In the financial world, as in the world of teen fashion, what is popular today will inevitably be reviled tomorrow. With that in mind: you simply must buy some stocks. They're absolutely divine, I hear!

"Bubble" is just "babble"—plus u. Buy! Buy! Buy! Buy! High! High! High! High!

“We’ve seen real bubble-like markets again," says the CEO of the world's largest money management firm. Nothing to worry about, folks.

The global economy is like a boiling pot of water— full of bubbles. Or you might say it's like a glass of soda—full of bubbles. Starting small, inflating, and finally bursting—bubbles. Where will he next economic bubble"pop up," ha? Perhaps in a land far, far away.

As predictably as the sun rises and sets, so too do economic bubbles inflate and then pop, bringing euphoria followed by suicidal gloom. Where will the next bubble in our economy be? Today, we turn our keen eye to the source of all troubles: tech companies.

If you'd bought a flimsy McMansion in one of America's sweltering boom zones just after the recession struck, you could have had it for a nickel. Now, prices are soaring once again. The boomiest boom areas of the boom time are booming!

As sure as we know the economy is going up, we know that the economy shall also, sooner or later, come back down. Whence shall the next poisonous economic tumor begin? Today we turn our alert gaze to the predictions of a dude who should know.