Three men who tried to promote their bar on Facebook by uploading a fun picture of a Buddha wearing headphones get to spend the next two-and-a-half years locked in a Burmese prison, all thanks to their marketing plan.

A Muslim man waits outside a closed shop in Colombo, Sri Lanka. Muslims throughout the country's capital have shut down their stores to protest recent attacks by hard-line Buddhists. Photo by Eranga Jayawardena/Associated Press)

A Thai Buddhist monk and a group of people carrying lotus and candles march in front of Marble Temple in Bangkok on Tuesday as part of Wesaka Bucha activities. Wesaka Bucha, the most important Buddhist holy day of the year, marks the birth, enlightenment and death of the Buddha. Image via Sakchai Lalit/AP.

Today, Bloomberg cited two anonymous sources to report that the National Security Agency has been using "Heartbleed" to "gather critical intelligence" from protected internet traffic. The NSA is denying that report. Okay. But what is Heartbleed, exactly?

A worker attaches the name tag of a Buddhist who made donation to a lantern for an upcoming celebration of Buddha's birthday at the Jogye temple in Seoul on Thursday. Image via Lee Jin-man/AP.

[During a session with the Dalai Lama on Sunday, one novice monk got distracted. The religious leader has been at the Sera Monastery delivering the ten-day-long series of Jangchup Lamrim teachings since Wednesday. Image by Abhishek N. Chinnappa via AP.]

[Tens of thousands of Buddhist novices were ordained on Tuesday in the Pathumthani province of Thailand, becoming monks in a dawn ceremony marking the start of the "Buddhist Lent." Pic via AP]

Big news for fans of Kansho Tagai, a.k.a. Mr. Happiness, Japan's most famous 49 year-old rappin' Buddhist monk: He's ready to move into a new medium—"mixing Buddhist chants with tap-dancing." Is the Buddhist hip hop audience ready? [Reuters]

Those Britishers. First they cast off the Pope. Then they make the royal family just a bunch of symbolic bobble-heads with questionable DNA. Now they're out to get rid of religion altogether! Is nothing sacred to these people? "More than half of Britons think Christianity is likely to have disappeared from the country within a century, according to a survey. Research by the Orthodox Jewish organisation Aish found that just over a third of people thought religions like Christianity and Judaism would still be practiced in Britain in 100 years' time. Although four in 10 people said they would choose to be a member of the Christian religion, almost the same number said they would rather practice no religion at all."

Michael Roach is a naughty, naughty Buddhist monk. The former New Yorker sleeps with a woman, which is a big no-no among Tibetan Buddhists. But by "sleeps with," he says he literally just means "falls asleep next to" his, uh, partner, Christie McNally, a former NYU student and fellow teacher who lives with him in a yurt in Arizona. Roach claims the two are chaste, engaging only in an "intense hands-on physical relationship" not at all carnal. None of the other monks are buying this. The Dalai Lama's office actually denied Roach permission to teach in India. Of course, corrupt, selfish Gothamites will hardly judge the couple, who insist on always being within 15 feet of each other, any less harshly after they were profiled this morning in the Times Home & Garden section (WTF? For the yurt?). So let's take an Altarcations-style look at how disturbing this couple really is to those of us who believe in sex, material possessions and all those other wonderful things: