The Department of Justice's investigation of the Ferguson Police Department has scandalized the nation, and justly so. But the department's institutional racism, while shocking, isn't the report's most striking revelation.

The U.S. military relies on local interpreters in Afghanistan to do important, possibly life-saving things like translating warnings about IEDs. And, in return, the Afghan translators get targets on their backs and the chance to live in fear of the day NATO pulls out and insurgents capture and behead them. John Oliver broke down this not-so-sweet deal on the most recent Last Week Tonight.

Last night, Gawker got a tip from a longtime reader: "I get a lot of emails for a different person with the same name as me," the message said. "Someone who works in some capacity in the government. I don't know if this one I just received about Israel, missiles, etc is even a thing." Yes, it's a thing.

A grieving Brooklyn father whose son drowned during a field trip back in June is living with a constant reminder of his loss — because the teen's school won't stop calling to ask why the boy has been skipping class.

All TechCrunch founder Michael Arrington wanted was a simple life, with a simple boat, so that he might draw out his remaining days in peaceful aquatic seclusion. Chartering retired couples and young honeymooners on day trips, resolving the quarrels of local fisherman, nibbling on sponge cake and watching the sun bake all of those tourists covered in oil. He was done with the game, and he thought the game was done with him.

The man is coming to shut down your yoga studios — it's up to you to defend your sacred spaces against their tyranny.

There's a reason everyone at the DMV treats you like shit: You're not paying them $7,000! For that nominal sum, customers at the Yonkers, N.Y., DMV—even Pakistanis on the no-fly list—could get licenses based on stolen identities.

The SEC's inspector general finally released the full 477-page internal audit on Bernie Madoff's misdeeds and how the SEC completely missed the mark on catching them. How badly did they completely screw the pooch on this one?

Two gay men, one of them dressed as a woman, sort of duped the city into granting a marriage license and performing an official ceremony for them, despite the fact that they both have male first names. [New York Post]

The European Commission's Software Quality Observatory for Open Source Software has released a "software quality checking platform" called Alitheia Core, designed to formalize quality control over open-source code. It doesn't boost my confidence that the demo site is throwing 503 Service Temporarily Unavailable errors this morning. You'll have to settle for the press release:

Mindy Bockstein, chairwoman and executive director of New York's Consumer Protection Board has taken time out of her busy schedule to write a heartfelt missive to Apple CEO Steve Jobs. Among her complaints: Apple's iPhone return policies are too restrictive, and the battery has to be replaced by Apple technicians. "I encourage Apple to redesign the iPhone in order to provide for a replaceable battery," Bockstein instructs Jobs. Right, lady. When Steve Jobs takes design tips from a state bureaucrat, it will be a cold day in Cupertino. Says Silicon Alley Insider's Dan Frommer: "Never mind police, health care, crime, mass transit, etc. — save us from not-quite-perfect $600 gadgets!"