Things are tough out there. People are out of work. Politicians are willfully disregarding science. A League of Their Own stars are having heart attacks right and left. And now this: doctors are burning out at "alarming" rates.

Andy Dick: Something about his penis getting in trouble. Rihanna's about to break her man's umbrella off. Helen Mirren has a lesson for your children about getting drunk and stupid. Megan Fox's freaky thumbs! Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup:

Today's Page Six asks "WHICH slave-driving producer of a morning TV show was ordered by the network's legal department to cease and desist offering staffers tequila shots on Friday afternoons?" We haven't had a good poll here in awhile, but this one's pretty obvious. Over at the CBS 'Early Show,' producer Shelley Ross has been breaking balls since she arrived in September, prompting a number of staffers to walk. Ross herself was fired a couple of years ago from her ABC News gig in the wake of staff complaints about her um, rather intense management style. One CBS staffer, who sent a protest manifesto to network executives, complained that despite "tequila Fridays" being nixed, "there is much evidence that drinking tequila or alcohol but especially tequila with Shelley is considered the way 'in' with her and her group." Oh my God, the same thing happened to me in the ninth grade! After the jump, more bitchery and unrest at the consistently third-ranked network morning talk show.

You make crap for cash. Your achievements are barely noticed. Your company's idea of encouragement is not firing you. The last time you spent more than twenty good minutes with your kids or significant other was two weeks ago, give or take a month. Sound familiar? A former journalist who's now a professor at Indiana's Ball State University has turned your career malaise and the occasional desire you have to slap your editor really hard into a full-blown research study on journalist burnout. He draws his conclusions based on responses from newspaper staff nationwide. Also on something called a motivation-hygiene theory, which makes us giggle a little. What does the Ivory Tower think about how you're doing? Well, in a study whose main indicators are exhaustion and cynicism, probably not much. Who's the most miserable among your colleagues? How long will you last? If you promise not to kill yourself, then by all means, investigate the post-jump details.

The new poster child for the dot-com bubble wasn't even a real company. In an exclusive IM interview, SingleStat.us coder David Weekly explains how a weekend project earned way too much attention before flaming out.