What is next for Herman Cain? The world has been waiting the answer since that fateful Atlanta morn. Perhaps he could be a corporate lobbyist? The big money's there. Or an Applebee's waiter! See how the other half lives and all that. And then there's always the chance to go lesbian for a while in a lesbian art colony. Now's the time to experiment before getting tied down in some career. But no, it looks like he's just going to ride a bus and talk about his tax plan.

Just last week, as Iowans were re-suspecting that he was only in this thing to hawk his dumb Ronald DVDs and alternate histories, Newt Gingrich announced that he would launch a 44-stop(!) bus tour ahead of the caucuses. SEE GUYS? EFFORT.

Three million cheers for Sarah Palin! Here we were just a few minutes ago, sorting through the doldrums of August political news and economic chaos, when suddenly the monster from Wasilla announced that the long-promised Part II of her Tour de Grift bus ride will proceed through the Heartland starting later this week.

Don't fret, Sarah Palin! Stay home in Arizona or Alaska, wherever you summer. Because President Obama has decided to do the Midwestern second leg of your bus tour for you. That's right: Obama will ride around on a bus, too, as part of the great White House "pivot" to a focus on jobs, which no longer exist.

We've all been spending the last few weeks skimming through silly, summer news stories like the president having an illegal war in Libya and the global economy drifting perilously close to a double-dip recession, waiting on edge for real news about Sarah Palin getting back on a bus and driving through more states. When oh when will the Tour de Grift resume for its promised second leg through the Heartland? Perhaps never, sadly.

Remember when Sarah Palin went on a bus tour into the Yankee North all last week? It was the other major political story of last week, the one that wasn't cockcockcock. Fortunately Sarah Palin has released an unusually well produced home video recapping the sights and stops of her trip, ensuring that future peoples will never forget about the 2011 Tour de Grift.