It seems you can never escape the woes of this world, you know? Rich people got 99 problems just like you and me. You might think it would be nice to be waited on by an army of servants. But what you don't see is the hard part of that.

Everyone, from the dandiest Diddy to the poorest party spangler’s daughter loves Downton Abbey. Every week, we gather ‘round our television sets to watch our favorite characters die. “Why can’t I be a servant in the post-Edwardian era?” we cry as we watch the sallow-cheeked wait staff eat up screen time that should be devoted to the Grantham family’s glamorous problems. “Oh,” we gasp, when Lady Mary emerges in yet another devastating satin gown, “I wish I were a maid!”

People outside New York all used to live in giant mansions with Jacuzzis and closets the size of Luxembourg. Now they have to give these things up. The greatest tragedy? Buyers "are in danger of being underwhelmed."

With all those newfangled Economy 3.1 jobs attracting rich rubes from the hinterlands, there's soon to be be a great increase in the need for Manhattan butlers, reports today's Post. And yes, they make much more money than you do. How much? If you're "well-groomed" (and, one presumes, clean and articulate), expect $200,000 a year, plus a 401(K) and, of course, free housing. Acquire a British accent, and that figure jumps by $10 to $20K. So, all you Ivy Leagued publishing drones and M.F.A.'d copy editors out there, hold off on those enticing subway trade-school ads: The Dutch-based International Butler Academy is planning to open a New York branch soon.