Sometimes two stories will come along on the very same day and reaffirm one of the oldest Hollywood clichés in history. Namely, that babe magnetism can be yours even if you don't possess looks, charm or gentlemanly ways. Provided, of course, that you have either money or music cred. With that in mind, we'd like to call your attention to two fantasy-worthy catfights brewing today. All kinds of manicured claws are out over the 80-year old borderline polygamist Hugh Hefner and the scraggly rock star Richie Sambora. Why four sets of fake boobs are rubbing up against each other (as Kate Hudson’s baby boy would say) and which contenders are looking like the early “winners” of the ongoing squabbles, after the jump.

The NY Daily News makes a bold (and frightening) opening statement in their story published today regarding good girl Anne Hathaway and her very bad boy boyfriend, money-laundering, law suit magnet Raffaello Follieri: "You are who you date." While that statement may seem to be a bit elementary, they make a good point in Anne's case. No matter how charming she is on screen, how little she appears on the pages of tabloids or how impossible we find it to dislike her in any way, the fact remains that she is still with the sleazy mess of a man. And has been for years, despite all the trouble he's had with the law. And she's not the only major bankable goody two shoes actress lessening "her stock" by dating a guy who's far lower on the Hollywood totem pole: the piece also argues that Jennifer Aniston's summer fling with tattooed bed-hopper John Mayer is just as reputation damaging as Hathway's sketchy romance. So why are these beyond eligible bachelorettes digging through the back lot trash for love?

Among the many questions we would love to ask Emmy-winning beach yogi Jeremy Piven, one of our most pressing would be how he manages to convince so many bitches to hug him. Somehow the Entourage ringleader has earned himself the Womanizer reputation ever since throwing out his bit-part baldie wigs and zooming package-first into the spotlight. And as we’ve reported in the past, it can’t be due to his masterful pick-up lines. But thanks to a photo shot this weekend, we have ourselves an answer. Piven’s success with women predictably has less to do with his bravado and more to do with one very studly prop.

Last night, Uma Thurman's male companion—some guy with longish hair, who may or may not have been her alleged current boytoy, former model-dater and hedge funder Arpad "Arki" Busson, though possibly not, as this fellow was described as "blond"!—put her in a cab up by Lexington and 50th Street. "They were carrying little goodie bags like they'd just been to some sort of gratuitous event," said a spy. "He put her in a cab and then started talking on his cell phone about her, and sounded like a total jock dick talking about his 'date with Uma.'" Oh, Uma. When will you learn? Why is your dating life worse than anyone's?

"I'm not sure when or why the tabloid angle on me was decided that I am a cad," writes Zach Braff on his MySpace blog. Hmm! Could it have been on or around June 6? Just a guess! He continues to refute "tabloid" claims of his caddishness like so: "I would have much rather it had been that I am secretly a dentist or that I love soup. I am in fact, merely doing what every other single 32 year old man in NYC is doing this summer. I am dating. If you must read that stuff, please don't digest it as fact. It is probably one of the only real shitty things one has to get used to when living in the public eye, but I suppose one of the benefits of this blog is that you can hear it directly from me."