Bodybuilders are notorious for not being able to agree on a single damn thing—their workouts are right, yours is always wrong—but you'd think they'd be able to reach a consensus on how many days there are in a week, which is 7. But they can't, because math is tough. Let's take it back to the bodybuilding.com forums circa 2008, and watch some of the greatest thinkers of our age work their rhetorical magic.

The body of Jerry William McDonald, a 68-year-old man from Oregon, was discovered by Forest Service rangers on Thursday, tucked inside a sleeping bag in his truck. With him was the homemade calendar on which he chronicled his activities for the nearly 70 days he survived after a heavy snowstorm on Valentine's Day trapped his vehicle just four miles from the nearest town.

Attached to this post, the party calender for the forthcoming Democratic and Republican national conventions in Denver and St. Paul. As everyone has acknowledged, there is no news at these conventions, at all. They are just excuses for partying. So this, really, is all your average conventioneer journalist needs to know. We'll tell you which ones to attend and which to skip in favor of unorganized drinking, below. Click to view Attend, in Denver: Any and all "VIP" or "Cocktail Receptions." At night: Creative Coalition, GLBT Unity Dance, Distilled Spirits "Spirits of Denver" Party (alt: Maker's Mark party), Kanye. Attend, St. Paul: Distilled Spirits, the Maker's Mark thing. Honestly, unless an hour or two of shitty cocktails at an open bar means that much to you you are then advised to go drink with the locals. Skip: Everything else.

One has to admire Britney Spears' ability to make news on all but six weekdays this month. The manic popstar may be an inattentive mother but she provides material to news organizations with a regularity that puts most reporters to shame. Click for Spears' January calendar.

Click through for our Community Calendar. Send the events that you go to bed dreaming will be listed to josh@gawker.com and maybe we'll make your dreams come true.