Tuesday is the California primary, wherein Golden State voters will be asked to pick a replacement for long-beloved and mostly normal outgoing Senator Barbara Boxer. With the primary comes the Official Voter Information Guide and Candidate Statements, which is a perennially fun read, since California primary candidates are among our nation’s weirdest. (Starchild is one candidate for public office in California that only mid-aughts kids with an interest in municipal politics will remember.)