In a movie! In a movie. Don't worry. Also today: Young stars get lots of roles, a new movie about air pirates sounds intriguing, an actor joins a show we don't get, and Sarah Silverman is a sister.

Showtime has released the season premieres of Dexter and Californication to the public on the web. So we have embedded the full episodes below, to enjoy at your leisure while you lean back on our plush Gawker VIP virtual upholstery.

Though David Duchovny's publicist surely slapped a "no sex addiction questions" proviso on his public appearances, it's a hard subject to avoid when the show he's promoting is about, y'know, having sex a lot.

It's been a rough year for the Duchovny-Leonis, what with David's well-publicized trip to sex rehab, the general public's crushing indifference to a way-too-late X-Files movie, and the sad lack of bangable extras at the recent Czechoslovakian street fair in Manhattan. Few were surprised when the patient Tea Leoni announced her separation from Duchovny yesterday, but now the Daily Mail is claiming Duchovny instigated the breakup because Leoni was cheating — with Billy Bob Thornton:

Look, you're going to be reading a lot on AdAge and NewTeeVee and Silicon Alley Insider about YouTube's deal with CBS to run full-length TV shows, and what this means for online-video advertising models and what this means for the Google-owned site's rivalry with Hulu, the joint venture between NBC and News Corp. Blah blah blah. Let me abbreviate it for you:MacGyver will now be available on YouTube, and you won't have to watch it in frequently taken-down 10-minute chunks. Yeah, you didn't know that was a CBS show, and you didn't care. But it's on YouTube! Californication, too. It airs on Showtime, which is owned by CBS. But what it really means to me is that my Duchovny-obsessed writer, Paul Boutin, is going to get even less done. Thanks, YouTube!

As if the borders distinguishing the fictional sex-junkie David Duchovny plays on Californication from the background-player-deflowering poon-addict he plays in real life weren't hazy enough, along comes another wrinkle to further confuse the issue—and this one involves us! On last week's Californication, Duchovny's character Hank is in jail for assaulting a police officer, where he's visited by ex-girlfriend Karen and their teenage daughter, Becca. At one point, Becca holds out an iPhone bearing his mugshot and says, "Check it out: You're on Defamer." Hank responds that he thinks it's "a pretty good picture," and we'd agree—though not nearly as good some others we've run. If your brain hasn't yet collapsed like a deflated beach ball from all the meta-ness, just wait until Tea Leoni stops by HQ to guest edit for a week.

And he's out! After a long, arduous stay in sex rehab, David Duchovny and his wife, Tea Leoni, were snapped at the Czech Street Festival in New York City this weekend. Roger Friedman will be pleased by his choice of coasts, though the actor will certainly have to return to Los Angeles at some point to shoot the soon-to-be-awkward third season of Californication. Tea, might we recommend the newest in fully-transparent glass Star Waggons? [ONTD]

When Californication star David Duchovny announced he was checking into sex rehab, Fox News columnist Roger Friedman suggested it was due to an internet porn addiction — a theory that didn't sit well with our commenters, who remembered a suddenly relevant blind item about a TV star who'd been following extras off the set for some very special "overtime." Today, the NY Daily News rebuts Friedman and confirms the latter rumor, hearing from the National Enquirer that Duchovny's wife Tea Leoni was on to his elaborate scheme to trade sex for SAG vouchers:

It was announced in a statement released yesterday that X-Files star David Duchovny is the latest star to voluntarily enter rehab, though his stint is a markedly different one than the typical two-week Promises tour accorded most penitent, crisis-managed celebs. No, Duchovny — who played a sex-obsessed character in the softcore drama Red Shoe Diaries, the 2005 film Trust the Man, and currently essays one as bed-hopping novelist Hank Moody on the Showtime series Californication — is seeking treatment for sex addiction. Though currently married to actress Tea Leoni (with whom he has two children: daughter Madelaine West, 9, and son Kyd, 6), the actor has fended off rumors about his sex life for over a decade, according to Us Weekly:

Careful, Pete — get too handsy and we hear Niles could happy slap you back to Blighty, as when she's not appearing in Californication or on French Maid TV, she practices kung fu and holds a second degree black belt. Maybe next time she can torture him into confessing what, exactly, he does besides show up at parties to pose with hotties. Can you come up with a better caption? Do so in the comments. The best one will become this post's new headline. Yesterday's winner: "Lectroid Julia Bigboote's pheromonic camouflage fails at the worst possible moment " by matto. (Photo by Marc Salsberry)

If you came to Californication without knowing much about the Showtime series, you'd be forgiven if you'd have expected the familiar Red Hot Chili Peppers song "Californication" to play under the show's titles; failing that, you'd think at least some reference to the band's hit 1999 album of the same name might figure into the action or back story. As it turns out, however, no permission from the band was secured by the network or the show's creators, who merely saw in the lexical hybrid a catchy, succinct term covering the shows primary themes of fucking and life in Southern California.

After previously teasing us with the kind of reconstructed-hip-shattering, hot sexagenarian action we haven't seen on premium cable since we caught a late-night Cinemax presentation of Emanuelle: Retirement Community Seductress back in college, the producers of Tell Me You Love Me threw us an oddly prudish curveball last night, dramatizing nothing more racy than a chef-on-chef sex act probably not graphic enough to be pixelated by a Fox Hell's Kitchen censor, making us feel we'd completely wasted the hour we spent (we didn't even TiVo through all the tiresome yapping) looking for further evidence of ejaculating-prothesis use or glimpses of envelope-pushing penetration. But we did spend some time reading yesterday's NY Times piece about the ongoing pornification of television and film, in which the director of a competing sex-positive pay-TV entertainment offered a dissenting opinion on how graphic the screwing needs to be to achieve fucking-verisimilitude:

· Will Smith re-teams with his Pursuit of Happyness creatives for Seven Pounds, the story of a guy who falls in love while trying to kill himself [Ed.note—Isn't it a little tacky to be announcing a suicide movie so soon after the Owen incident? Just sayin'.], hoping that audiences will shed just as many tears watching Smith nobly overcome personal adversity as they did when he was hugging his kid while sleeping in that filthy Happyness bathroom. [Variety]
· Audiences will get a chance to see David Duchovny try to fuck away the pain of being a writer for another twelve episodes, as Showtime gives Californication a second season pick-up. [THR]
· Apple keeps trying to drive away the Hollywood content partners that just want to love them, proposing to cut the price of TV episodes to 99 cents. [Variety]
· Rupert Murdoch gets a pay raise to $24.3 million per year, but still officially makes less than News Corp second banana Peter Chernin. [THR]
· And in other continuing-cinematic-love-affair news, Joaquin Phoenix and director James Gray can't get enough of each other, teaming up for the third time for the drama Two Lovers. [Variety]