It's that time again. Convention season is over and our intrepid presidential candidates have taken to the road in a last-ditch, balls-out attempt to woo the American public in a ritual known only as "campaigning." But what exactly is this "campaigning"? And how does it work?

Have you always wanted to have dinner with Barack Obama and also have complete control over who else has dinner with Barack Obama because you love micromanaging his life?

Rahm Emanuel, who was the second most powerful person in Washington just a few days ago, is now merely harassing commuters on Chicago subway platforms to kick off his mayoral campaign. Watch as the commuters react with indifference, mostly!

George W. Bush won't do any campaigning this fall, probably because it's boring.