In recent weeks, calls for widespread institutional change at some predominantly white colleges and universities have captured the nation’s collective attention. On one side, free speech fundamentalists at schools like UCLA, Yale, and the University of Missouri insist that one’s First Amendment right outweighs issues of racial insensitivity. Nobody ever guaranteed a hostile-free learning environment, they say. On the other side, black students feel unsafe as a result of unregulated free speech masked as open intellectual exchange.

Back in August, officials at the University of Colorado's Colorado Springs and Boulder campuses announced the creation of a separate dorm for students aged 21 and older with concealed-carry gun permits. So far, exactly zero CU students have elected to move in, according to a university spokesperson.

Whatever happened to all-American college pastimes like smoking weed and robbing the pizza delivery guy? Kids in fancy schools these days apparently spend all their time engaged in a "team-based locally social online sport." No, not organizing group sex encounters on Craigslist; playing GoCrossCampus, a popular nerd-based internet game similar to Risk. And it's not just confined to Stanford, as we had hoped; it's everywhere!