At a recent tour stop in Louisville, KY, country music superstar Carrie Underwood spotted a 12-year-old fan in the crowd holding a sign asking her to be his first kiss.

The Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood-hosted CMA Awards are underway! During Paisley and Underwood's monologue, the former mentioned that, "2010 was also a big year for infidelity," before he and Underwood sang a song for Brett Favre and Tiger Woods.

To keep up with all the rumors they're starting, Katy and Russell will need one thousand and one nights of non-stop ceremonies. Cops investigate Mel Gibson. Elle MacPherson is sorry she ate an endangered animal. TGIFriday gossip.

During Barney's quest to bed the ladies, he stumbled upon a sure-fire way to get girls to come back to his apartment: Teacup Pigs. We dare you not to squeal with delight at the sight of these miniature piggies.

And why yes, that is Carrie Underwood playing the girl who fell for the "Teacup Pig" ploy.

Christian Bale and Javier Bardem are in a plotless romantic drama. New entries in The Da Vinci Code and Fast and the Furious series of popular films. A movie about a shark attack. Trade Roundup: let us do this thing.

This year's Grammy Awards actually deserved the "Music's Biggest Night" title. Inside, video of all the best moments, including Lady Gaga's opening duet with Elton John, a speech by Michael Jackson's kids, and performances by Beyonce, Taylor Swift and more.

In Dubai, Carrie and the girls flout their steepest recession yet. Dr. Conrad Murray films a show, Brittany Murphy could cry out of one eye at a time on command, Carrie Underwood flaunts her engagement ring. Wednesday gossip is decadent.

• An autopsy was performed on Brittany Murphy yesterday and while no obvious cause of death was determined, more should be known when toxicology tests are completed in several weeks. Meanwhile, police sources say a huge stash of prescription pills (painkillers, antidepressants, anti-anxiety drugs, antibiotics, etc.) were found at her home. And several of Murphy's friends, colleagues, and acquaintances have told reporters that her death "wasn't a shock," and that substance abuse "had sadly become par for the course." [NYP, NYDN, TMZ]
• In an interview yesterday, Murphy's husband Simon Monjack defended himself against suggestions he was a bad influence on Murphy. Monjack's shady past isn't doing him too many favors, however. The British screenwriter was sued by a bank for close to half a million bucks in 2006 as well as evicted from his apartment the same year. A year before that, he was arrested in Virginia on credit card fraud and theft charges. [AH, NYP, Fox News]
• Back in 2001, Tom Cruise sued a magazine editor named Michael Davis Sapir for saying that Cruise had a "homosexual relationship" and Sapir had a tape to prove it. Now it's Sapir turn. He's suing Cruise, his attorney Bert Fields, and private detective Anthony Pellicano for $5 million, claiming they spied on him and illegally wiretapped his phone. [TMZ, Us]
• The German shepherd that Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony used to own wasn't the friendliest pooch. Not only did Floyd allegedly attack a flight attendant (who is now suing the couple), he supposedly also head-butted a housekeeper and bit one of their personal assistants. [NYDN]

• Lindsay Lohan landed in India yesterday where she's taking part in a BBC documentary on child sex trafficking. And she's already making a difference! Just hours after landing, she hopped on Twitter to proclaim that "over 40 children" have been "saved so far." What she did to save these kids isn't clear (especially when she could use some saving herself), but why quibble over details? [Us]
• In other (and more dubious) LiLo news, the Daily News reports that Lohan has a new man: "Lindsay Lohan is covering all her bases before she ships off to India—and that includes kissing several boys goodbye." Given she's already left the country, you may want to ignore what follows from there, but the guy she's supposedly seeing is Adam Senn, the model and bad boy from first season of The City, who met LiLo during Fashion Week and is someone Senn is hoping to "get to know even better." [NYDN]
• Have Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel broken up? Who knows, but he was supposedly seen flirting with a bunch of women the other night. [P6]
• Today in Tiger: The number of women Woods has been cheating with hit 13 yesterday afternoon, just as racy text messages that Tiger sent Jaimee Grubbs and Rachel Uchitel surfaced. In other Tiger mistress news, a video featuring porn star Holly Sampson bragging about having sex with Tiger Woods also turned up yesterday. And Uchitel is supposedly planning to get tested for STDs now that she's found out how many women Tiger has been hooking up with.

Apparently Esquire's Tom Junod interviewed Carrie Underwood, but instead of printing a profile, they just listed a bunch of quotes under the headline "What I've Learned," and it's the most unintentionally depressing portrait-in-a-series-of-mosaic-like-glimpses ever.

• Did you catch dethroned beauty queen Carrie Prejean's hissy fit on Larry King Live last night? It was awkward TV at its finest. [TMZ, YouTube]
• Mike Tyson had a meltdown of his own yesterday. When a paparazzo got a little too close for comfort at LAX, Tyson dropped the photog to the floor with one punch to the face. Both men were later arrested. [LAT, NYDN]
• The latest recorded phone call courtesy of Michael Lohan has Dina Lohan telling her ex that "time is running out" for Lindsay and she's started drinking again. As for how LiLo feels about having her dad air the family's dirty laundry: "My father knows nothing other than now to sell stories for money instead of getting a real job like normal people do, including myself." Lindsay is a normal person with a real job? Who'd have guessed? [Radar, MSNBC]
• Marc Jacobs and Lorenzo Martone were supposed to get married over the summer. But it never happened and now Martone says the couple's decided to wait until after the holidays to tie the knot. "Who wants to get married during a busy season like this? I don't want my friends having to use their lunch break to get me gifts." How thoughtful! [P6]

In some of the mildest, most cowboy-hatted humor I've seen in a long time, some country music people I've never heard of mocked Kanye for interrupting Taylor Swift at the VMAs... about a decade ago.

Changing the ownership of two of show biz's major trade journals will either change everything, or change nothing at all. In Hollywood, you're always safe betting on the latter

• Nicole Kidman isn't as vanilla as she looks, apparently. She tells British GQ that she has experimented with "obsession" and "strange sexual fetish stuff," although it's unclear when all this happened. As for her marriage to Keith Urban? It's "a very extraordinary, adventurous place to be: incredibly raw, incredibly dangerous." [DM, P6]
• The first of Lindsay Lohan's dramatic calls to her dad Michael has been released, and luckily, it comes accompanied by on-screen subtitles although you may need to shower after. At one point, she tells her dad, "Mommy says that I'm worse than you are," and then, between sobs, manages to ramble on, "No one cares about me. They don't, by the way. It's about how they feel, not how I feel. It's not about me. It's never been about me." Sad. [Radar]
• In happier news, Jeremy Piven is feeling much better now that he's added soy milk to his list of food products he will no longer touch. (You may remember his little run-in with sushi last year.) Piven was chugging 12 cups of soy milk a day, but then he realized it contained estrogen and was responsible for giving him man-boobs. "It was a very confusing time," he says. [Us]

David Bowie walking in SoHo ... Jude Law playing soccer with his kids downtown ... Halle Berry arriving at her hotel in Midtown ... Helena Christensen shopping in the meatpacking district with boyfriend Paul Banks ... Natalie Portman going to lunch with a friend ... Rihanna walking downtown ... Sienna Miller arriving for a matinee performance of After Miss Julie ... Hugh Jackman playing with his kids at the park ... Carlos Leon and daughter Lourdes hanging out in SoHo ... Michelle Williams walking around ... Josh Brolin leaving his hotel ... model Kara Young walking with her son downtown ... Carrie Underwood walking in Midtown ... and Fergie catching a flight at LaGuardia.

• Heidi Klum and Seal have a new addition to the family: Lou Sulola, who was born on Friday night and joins siblings Johan, Henry, and Leni. [People]
• Tyra Banks ought to be in a good mood today. Not only has she dropped four dress sizes recently, she's been named the "top-earning primetime TV star" by Forbes thanks to the $30 million she's collected over the past year. [Daily Mail, MSNBC]
• The latest legal tiff between Christie Brinkley and Peter Cook is over: The couple has settled their dispute, which means neither of them will be heading off to jail. [People]
• Was Penelope Cruz sporting a giant sapphire and diamond ring the other night because she really is engaged to Javier Bardem? And did she wear a bulky sweater over her dress because she's pregnant? So many questions, so few answers. Sigh. [P6, NYDN]

Tilda Swinton and Donald Trump fighting. So are Tori Spelling and Star. And, yes, even Gore Vidal and Ed Koch. But at least there's some love: Heidi Klum and Seal had baby number four. Welcome to your Tuesday gossip roundup!

Real estate legend Barbara Corcoran turns 60 today. Nobuyuki Matsuhisa is turning 60 today, too. Sharon Stone is 51. Record producer Rick Rubin is turning 46. Model Eva Herzigova is 36. Timbaland is 38. Prince Edward is 45. Edie Brickell is turning 43. Carrie Underwood is 26. Mad Men star Jon Hamm is 38. CNBC's David Faber is turning 45. Actress Olivia Wilde is 25. Chuck Norris is 69. And deep in a cave on the border of Afghanistan and Pakistan, Osama bin Laden is celebrating his 52nd birthday.

Jay-Z and Beyonce leaving 1OAK ... Michael Phelps leaving MTV studios in Times Square ... Juliette Lewis using an ATM in SoHo ... Katie Holmes leaving her apartment building on East 13th ... Uma Thurman shopping in the Village ... Brooke Shields, Kim Raver, and Lindsay Price filming scenes for Lipstick Jungle in the West Village ... Carrie Underwood posing with her wax figure at Madam Tussauds on 42nd Street ... Agyness Deyn and Albert Hammond Jr. walking with a friend ... Donatella Versace leaving the Chanel Mobile Art afterparty at the Waverly Inn ... Kate Bosworth outside the same party ... and Madonna getting out of a helicopter while carrying son David.

After proving she had little to contribute to the film or starfucking industries, Jessica Simpson finally realized she should keep her pretty-but-pretty-dumb mouth shut for the time being and instead let her t-shirts do the talking, angering PETA in the process. Though the feisty baby seal saviors have their fair share of enemies, they've also impressively managed to get celebrity spokespeople like Alec Baldwin and Eva Mendes to embarrass themselves in public by demanding the public do drugs (Baldwin) or taking off their clothes in the name of fur (Mendes). So naturally, Simpson's public cry for attention irked PETA's most compassionate celebrity nudist, Pamela Anderson, who called her fellow talent-challenged blonde "a bitch and whore" on a radio show. But this is far from the first time Jessica has ruffled another starlet's feathers just by being Jessica. We took a look back at the many ways Simpson has made herself a household name not by selling records or movie tickets, but by starring in her own personal Catfights franchise.