New York Times Theorist of Celebrity Caryn James needs just 39 words today to authoritatively defeat our vulgarian fascination with the likes of the David Hasselhoff daughter-abuse videotape and the Alec Baldwin daughter-abuse audiotape. "These new leaks simply draw all of us into family battles where we don't belong," reasons a firm but feisty Ms. James. "Beyond the humane idea that some things really should remain private, even for fame-mongers, these leaks have an insidious snowball effect on the culture." Fortunately, for reasons of context, James precedes her renunciative 39 words with 477 drawing us into the Hasselhoff and Baldwin battles, and follows them with 504 more regarding these two things which "really should remain private." You know, just to confirm exactly what we should not be caring about.