In the world of celebrities, socialites, and reality stars, relationships are more often "blink-and-you'll-miss-it" than "long-term." That's to be expected, of course. Think of all the temptations when countless other beautiful people are around! To size up the potential of a handful of newer and more high-profile couples on the New York City scene, we turned to Patti Wood, the "Babe Ruth of body language experts" who has evaluated unspoken signals for hundreds of media outlets over the years. Join us below as Wood breaks down which twosomes are destined for eternal bliss—and which are bound for a break-up.

Social queen Tinsley Mortimer certainly seems to have moved on with her life: She's spending much of her time in London these days, happily dating a German prince, and now embarking on plans to conquer the world of fashion. Her estranged husband Topper hasn't been quite as lucky, according to Spencer Morgan, who writes about the unraveling of the "haute-Wasp fairy tale" in this week's New York: "Where Tinsley is blithe and carefree, Topper is tormented. He's become a full-time smoker. He's lost weight. He wakes up at precisely 3:25 every morning and plays over and over the reality show his life became. Still, he hasn't entirely abandoned the idea that she'll come back. 'I love my wife' is all he'll tell me." [NYM, previously]

Oh my does New York have a heartwrenching chronicle of the disintegration of Tinsley and Topper Mortimer's marriage in their new Fall Fashion issue! It's like The Notebook meets NYC Prep. Break out the monogrammed hankies folks!

Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger are so doing it, Kevin Jonas is engaged, Hayden Panetierre is totally naked in her new movie, Tinsley Mortimer is dating a German aristocrat and Mischa Barton gets kicked out of a London nightclub's bathroom.

• First Michael Jackson dies, and now this? It seems it's over for Tinsley Mortimer and her husband, Topper, now that Tinz is in London where she's taken up with a German prince named Casimir Wittgenstein-Sayn. Why the change of heart? For starters, "Cassie" makes more money than Topper and owns a castle in Germany. Even more importantly, marrying him would finally make the Tinz a princess. And opportunities like that don't come along every day, naturally. [P6, DM]
• Bradley Cooper denied rumors the other day that he's been dating Jennifer Aniston. One possible reason for that: It looks like he's involved with Renee Zellweger instead. [P6]
• Kevin Jonas is engaged. He's one of those annoying Jonas Brothers, in case you're not up to speed on your annoying teen pop stars. [People]
• A few years ago, someone walking through the meatpacking district would have complained about the stench of rotting meat. Nowadays? They're whining that Diane von Furstenberg's store is pumping perfume into the air. [P6]