Oh good, the people looking to get David Letterman fired because they don't like his monologue (admittedly it is usually pretty hacky but that is part of the charm!) just cost him one (1) internet advertiser.

David Letterman, who has been quietly doing his second-place late night joker show over on CBS like forever, is all of a sudden beating the Tonight Show in the ratings. Calling Sarah Palin a slut really pays off!

While everyone is busy fretting and fussing over Conan O'Brien's freshman Tonight Show run, his steady-as-she-goes CBS competitor, David Letterman, has been quietly inking a deal to stay on the air through 2012. With, sigh, a bit of a pay-cut.

CBS' lovable curmudgeon Andy Rooney became a great-grandfather when his grandson, Fox News producer Justin Fishel, and his wife birthed twins recently. We look forward to hearing Andy bitch about all of this is a future 60 Minutes segment. [TVNewser]

• Portfolio isn't over and done with, after all: An affiliate of Condé Nast—based in Charlotte, weirdly—plans to revive the magazine's website. [NYO]
• Josh Marshall has accepted Maureen Dowd's apology for swiping some of his copy; and Dowd's new column today is Marshall-free, thankfully. [TPM, NYT]
• Upfronts 2009: What the CW and CBS have in store for the fall. [THR, THR]
• Is Jann Wenner looking to poach Condé Nast honcho David Carey? [NYM]
• Times executive editor Bill Keller says Google is the paper's "frenemy." [NYO]
• CNBC's Jeff Macke had a meltdown on the air yesterday. [Gawker]

• How are things going at the Cannes Film Festival? It depends on who you talk to. The Journal says it's been "conspicuously less frenzied" and business has been "slow." The Hollywood Reporter says it's beating expectations and "doomsayers" have been "proven wrong." Take your pick. [WSJ, THR]
• NBC is dropping Medium and My Name Is Earl for the fall, but bringing back Chuck. It's also renewed Law & Order for a 20th season. [NYT, AP, NYT]
• What can you expect on ABC this fall? More Dancing With the Stars. [THR]
• CBS is ditching Without A Trace, but has renewed Numb3rs. [EW]
• Time Warner Cable is dropping HDNet and HDNet Movies as May 31. [MC]

• CBS has released more footage from Morley Safer's interview with Anna Wintour from this Sunday's 60 Minutes. In this installment, Anna explains why she insists on wearing sunglasses indoors. (The answer: It's her "armor.") [CBS]
• Matthew Williamson's second collection for H&M arrived in stores today. [Racked]
• LVMH may be buying a stake in the green fashion line backed by Bono. [WSJ]
• A retrospective on fashion photographer Richard Avedon opens tomorrow at the International Center of Photography. Cathy Horyn looks back. [NYT]

• Execs at CBS, NBC, ABC and Fox are supposedly "seething" that the president's three news conferences have cost them $30 million in ad revenue. [THR]
• Is the New York Times Co. heading towards bankruptcy? [E&P]
• More budget cuts at the Star Ledger and San Francisco Chronicle. [E&P, HP]
• The LA Times introduces a new weekly magazine this Sunday. [Folio]
• Star Trek is off to a fast start. The pic grossed $7 million last night alone. [EW]
• It looks like television and radio advertising is rebounding a bit. [MLM]
• Former Radar editor Maer Roshan is now the editor of TheWeek.com. [NYP]
• The Simpsons got its own series of postage stamps yesterday. [Reuters]

• CBS posted a first-quarter loss as the ad recession took its toll. [THR, NYT]
• News Corp. reported a 70 percent drop in quarterly profits. [LAT, B&C]
• Profit dropped by 46 percent at Warner Music during the same period. [PC]
• Sirius XM posted a $236 million quarterly loss and also announced that its number of subscribers declined for the first time ever. [AP]
• Cablevision plans to "explore" a spinoff of Madison Square Garden. [NYT]
• News Corp. chairman Rupert Murdoch says he plans to charge readers to access the online content of his newspapers in the near future. [E&P]
• The new Bob Dylan album is No. 1 on the charts this week. [THR]
• Felix Dennis says The Week is for sale. For just $200 million. [Folio]

Early Show host and Les Moonves wifey Julie Chen is preggers! And from the sound of her banter this morning, we are going to be hearing all about Mrs. CBS's baby-to-be for months.

The president fielded questions tonight about his daughters, the attorney general of New York and a kooky Chinese plan for an international currency. Anything on the nitty-gritty of his trillion-dollar bank bailout? Nope.

• Former president George W. Bush has signed a deal with Crown to publish a memoir. Rumor has it he landed a $7 million advance for the book. [AP, NYP]
• For his part, Barack Obama has two books in the works with Crown. He plans to release an abridged, youth-oriented version of Dreams From My Father as well as write a nonfiction book once he leaves office. [CBS News]
• CNBC's keeping it classy. Larry Kudlow set a dollar bill on fire today. [CJR]
• Jim Cramer is still rattling on about Jon Stewart. [Gawker]
• NBC is planning to launch a "singing competition series" that sounds a lot like—yes, you guessed it—Fox's American Idol. [THR]
• CBS is keeping Two and a Half Men on the air through 2012. [NYT]
• The finalists for the Man Booker International Prize include E. L. Doctorow, V. S. Naipaul, Joyce Carol Oates, Mario Vargas Llosa and Alice Munro. [NYT]
• The noms for the National Magazine Awards are out. [AdAge]
• The cable channel Starz would like to remind you that it exists. [NYT]
• How screwed is the newspaper biz? Here's a pic that sums it up nicely. [BI]

60 Minutes creator Don Hewitt is hospitalized with pancreatic cancer. Liz Smith reports. [Update/ Clarification]

Here's something scary that exists: The Automotive Broadcasting Network ("Fueled by CBS"!), which beams soothing, automotive industry-friendly news into car dealerships, so as not to upset the customers. Katie Couric is a GM zombie!

Katie Couric has a Twitter thing! And on the distributed Internet micro-oversharing service, at last, America's sweetheart seems to realize how frightening she has become.

The writer Harlan Ellison is suing CBS for the only reason anybody sues anybody else, only he's being honest about it: "It ain't about the 'principle,' friend, it's about the money! Pay me!"

In your optimistic Wednesday media column: Alt-weeklies stabbed by the internet, a Rolling Stone buys a website, college reporters fight The Man and win, and a job available!

• The Wall Street Journal's new glossy mag, WSJ, will remain a quarterly and will not be going monthly as planned due to "market conditions." [WWD]
• Amazon is launching a program to let you read books by iPhone. [WSJ]
• Fox is ahead in the ratings with 18 to 49-year-olds thanks to the success of Idol, but CBS is gaining ground and is now No. 1 among total viewers. [LAT]
• As expected, Julius Genachowski has been nominated as FCC head. [AP]
• Cablevision will soon start targeting TV ads based on "income, ethnicity, gender or whether the homeowner has children or pets." [NYT]
• WNBC's new digital channel, New York Nonstop, launched Monday. [NYDN]
• David Carr's Carpetbagger blog will not be a year-round thing. [NYT]
• Good news, unemployed TV journalists: Dan Rather is hiring. [NYO]

• Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich has landed a six-figure advance to write a book about "his rise and fall, and the dark side of politics." [LAT]
• CBS chief Les Moonves says he no longer has any plans to merge the company's news operations with Time Warner's CNN. [B&C]
• Martha Stewart Living is "broadening its editorial focus" to "beauty, travel and fashion" in order to appeal to advertisers. [Mediaweek]
• Jane Velez-Mitchell's show on Headline News has been doing well. [NYT]
• The Philly Daily News will be folded into the Philadelphia Inquirer. [Gawker]
• Thomson Reuters is launching a new video-on-demand service. [NYT]
• Arena, the 22-year-old British men's style magazine, is no more. [WWD]

• The recession hasn't been all that bad as far as Hollywood is concerned: Ticket sales this year are up 17.5% and attendance is up 16%. [NYT]
• Viacom and CBS chieftain Sumner Redstone will have until the end of next year to sell off assets in order to repay his enormous pile of debt. [WSJ]
• Hearst is looking to charge readers for online access to its newspapers. [WSJ]
• Univision has laid off 300 people, or 6 percent of its workforce. [AP]
• Hachette is planning to reorganize its collection of women's titles. [WSJ]
• The recession has forced food mags to focus on cheap dining options. [NYT]
• Sarah Silverman's Comedy Central show hasn't been renewed yet and now the show's executive producers have threatened to quit the network. [THR]
• Madea Goes to Jail was No. 1 at the box office again this weekend. [NYDN]
• Another Bernie Madoff-related book is in the works. [NYP]