Gwyneth Paltrow's bid to reestablish herself both as a commercially viable actress and a MILF-y sexpot reached new heights last night on The Late Show With David Letterman. After running into the Ed Sullivan theater looking like she just got done with a spinning class at the Equinox Gym, she entered David Letterman's notoriously chilly environs wearing a sleeveless top that was scantily cut down to there. After dispensing with the formalities (Dave complimented her towering heels, asked how the kids were, blah blah blah), Gwyneth launched into a story about how she had trouble performing a certain scene while filming Iron Man because she had recently injured her knee. While Dave feigned interest in the story of her damaged joint, Gwynnie recognized his lack of interest and decided to do something about it. Namely, she gave his knee (and a bit of his thigh) a nice little rubdown. While we can spout off a number of instances over the years where Dave has been kissed, hugged and even flashed by his guests, we believe this is the first time a guest has ever dared touch Dave's leg for this length of time. More pix of Gwyneth, including the lacy see-through getup she wore to an Iron Man screening last night, after the jump.

You might have missed it, but Warner Bros., the film studio, created a television network in the 1990s called "The WB." The network's biggest star was Katie Holmes, before she accepted the role of mother to L. Ron Hubbard's heir. Then in 2006, the studio pulled the plug — folding it into CBS's failed network, UPN, and calling the new redheaded stepchild The CW. Well, now the brothers are back with TheWB.com, "an online video Web site combining short original series with classic shows," reports the AP. As you can tell from the screenshot, it's not quite operational yet. Though you're free to join the The WB fan page on Facebook!

So. Katie Couric's debate was canceled, and her ratings are the lowest ever, and also now Larry King has signed a contract extension with CNN. Through 2010, when he will be 77. That was supposed to be Katie's post-election job! Oh no!

There are dueling views on who is winning the battle for supremacy in the eyes of the notoriously combative media mogul Sumner Redstone. On one side is Philippe Dauman, head of Viacom, who recently decided to form a new movie channel to distribute films from Viacom's Paramount. On the other side is Les Moonves at CBS, who was allegedly "royally screwed" by Dauman's new channel since it ended the hope that his Showtime network would screen Paramount films. Daubman hopes the incident will help him get CBS and Viacom merged back together and put under his control, the Post reported this morning. Not so fast, said the Wall Street Journal: Dauman's movie channel is a supremely bad idea.

Over the protests of How I Met Your Mother's Neil Patrick Harris—who in the wake of Britney Spears's recent guest appearance openly bemoaned the slippery stunt-casting slope that threatened to compromise the integrity of his politely tolerated CBS sitcom—the singer has been reportedly asked by producers to return for another ratings-goosing helping of her comic chops. People reports:

While most of us fled the office to enjoy early spring, Sumner Redstone spent another relaxing weekend watching his corporate children at Viacom gouge each others' eyes out. And this time around he got his money's worth, with Paramount finally breaking free from CBS/Showtime to start its own pay-cable and VOD service with MGM and Lionsgate. It's an untidy, somewhat shocking scenario that we (and seemingly the rest of the Web) can't yet make sense of, but join us after the jump to parse the winners and losers at a glance.

CBS honcho Les Moonves had a week from hell. It started with a Times highlighting how his salary keeps going up while revenues at his beleaguered company keep going down. Then he had to answer to news department staff about leaks that made Katie Couric look like a lame duck in the anchor chair at CBS Evening News. Now he's said by Nikki Finke's sources to be "royally screwed" after fumbling negotiations with Viacom, a sibling company in the Sumner Redstone media empire. Moonves had been trying to cut the amount CBS' Showtime was paying for Paramount movies, but Paramount said "screw this" and decided to form its own cable channel along with studios MGM and Lionsgate. Here's why the whole situation is especially awkward, according to the Times:

Noting that two cast members from TV's highest-rated procedurals—CSI's Gary Dourdan and Law & Order: SVU's Diane Neal—would be leaving their series at the end of their contracts, TVGuide.com's Michael Ausiello has reexamined the evidence, and concludes that these seemingly friendly departures were more likely the result of some less-than-amicable shitcannings:

As far as directionless conversations with aloof, quasi-paranoid movie stars go, David Letterman's interview last night with Uma Thurman went about as well as could be expected. Perhaps retaining the slightest of old Oprah-Uma Oscar grudges toward our favorite joke-recycling late-night icon, Thurman deflects an odd series of inquiries about her country home for a full minute before anything resembling a punchline arrives. It could be a Pellicano trial reenactment as much as an affected celebrity sit-down, or perhaps just uncannily close to a conversation Thurman had earlier in the day with ex-husband Ethan Hawke. We knew Dave likes the studio cold, but watch after the jump and tell us if this isn't a bit much. [CBS]

A Microsoft buyout of Yahoo will close yet another exit for venture-backed startups, but another buyer just opened shop in town. CBS Interactive plans to open a new office in Menlo Park. And frenetic dealmaker Quincy Smith is here to buy. CBS CEO Leslie Moonves recently told conference attendees that "online revenues are north of $200 million, growing 30 to 40 percent," but Merrill Lynch analyst Jessica Reif Cohen said the company needs to make an acquisition soon to keep pace. Smith agrees. Last year, he promised to buy the next YouTube, "only a year earlier, when they were 1/32nd of their size." Tiny companies with zero revenues but excruciatingly high burn rates? Quincy, we'll keep you posted.

Anonymous CBS News employees complained to the Times about how Katie Couric was getting too much attention and the rest of the company was going ignored. The paper went ahead and looked at the rest of CBS and, what do you know, it turns out Evening News host Couric "may be the least of" CBS's worries. Its prime time ratings are down 20 percent, viewers are the oldest among major networks, the news and sports websites are behind rivals, the Early Show just lost its executive producer and the news division is laying off people and cutting back budgets. Meanwhile, CBS chief Les Moonves (pictured) saw his salary rise to $37 million last year, more than twice what Couric is believed to make. Anyone else want to complain to the Times about how they are not getting enough attention? [Times]

Now that Katie Couric is leaving the unwatched CBS Evening News before her contract expires, CBS CEO Les Moonves has little reason to keep pumping money into its putrefying corpse. Moonves "isn't a news guy, he's a showbiz guy," notes Huffington Post power-blogger Rachel Sklar. And Couric is hardly the first person to fail at anchoring the crappy program.

The Wall Street Journal broke a terribly large piece of media news this week—CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric is leaving the network after the elections, before her contract is up. That they had this story and not, say, the Times—who generally handle the TV media beat pretty well and on their own, thank you—is a nice coup for Murdoch's newest acquisition. It took a little while for the Times to catch up, but they came out last night with their own story on the meeting that ended Couric's career. (Amusingly, they credit "press reports in The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal and elsewhere on Thursday" for breaking the Journal's exclusive scoop. Petty!) While some speculate as to what Katie will do next, or when she'll leave, Henry Blodget wonders who killed her. We're inclined to believe she killed herself.

Four of the seven counts in the suit brought by Dan Rather against his former employers at CBS have been dismissed. Unfortunately for CBS, among the three remaining counts is the "the $70 million in compensatory and punitive damages Rather is seeking from CBS for breaching his contract." So the vast government conspiracy bit of the lawsuit is apparently without merit, but he'll still get his money (maybe). After the jump, we've embedded the text of the judge's decision. And because that is not very interesting, we've also embedded a rockin music video.

If you were to conduct a poll of the 276 million people living in these here United States asking what they'd REALLY like to know about their favorite celebrities, we're pretty sure you'd be hard pressed to find even one person who's wondering whether or not country music star Clint Black is any good at stand-up comedy. Still, that didn't stop CBS from devoting close to 6 minutes of airtime last night to answering that very question as part of their brand new show, Secret Talents Of The Stars. Sandwiched between segments of other equally perplexing talents of Z-listers (Can George Takei sing country music? Can Mya dance? Does a bear shit in the woods?), Clint Black spent some time prepping his stand-up routine with old friend Garry Shandling at the preeminent comedy hotspot for people born in the 1950s, The Comedy Store. Unfortunately for all of us, when a clearly concerned Shandling asked the yukless Black if "he had any OTHER secret talents" besides comedy, Black's answer was no. Shandling's advice and Black's so-bad-it's-bad performance follow after the jump.

One reason that YouTube isn't making their overlords at Google happy is because the video site is having a tough time selling advertising inventory. The new solution? Letting content partners do the work for them, says Google director Jordan Hoffner in an interview with TV Week's Daisy Whitney. CBS is among a number of companies which have been granted license to sell their own ads. That move could allay advertisers' fears that their ads will end up next to potty humor clips. They can also show off the new graphs and maps YouTube generates to show where clips — and hence ads — are viewed. The only problem is that those stats are pretty easily gamed, and if there's anything advertisers like less than off-brand placement, it's fraudulent reporting. Full video of the Hoffner and Whitney interview after the jump.

Why should the Chinese government shouldn't worry about protests during the Olympic torch run. Local media would much rather cover low-effort displays closer to home, like these activists scaling the Golden Gate Bridge. KPIX has live coverage. [CBS 5]

On the 40th anniversary of Martin Luther King's assasination, Moblogic.tv host Lindsay Campbell tracked down black men to ask their opinions of his legacy. When one subject grabbed the mic and turned the tables on Campbell, she laid into institutional racism with gusto. Right on, sister!

Working on CBS's Early Show seems a bit like serving time in a Soviet Gulag. No point in befriending anyone, as the ones who don't wish you specific ills may disappear one night without notice. The sad morning show lost another associate producer this week, we hear from a tipster who asked to not even be quoted off the record because CBS is "firing leakers" now. Scary! What's the story? We'll try to explain.

Despite reports that How I Met Your Mother has already ridden the Britney ratings train to fourth season security, the show can't ... stop ... stunting! In a season that's already given us the varied guesting talents of Enrique Iglesias, Mandy Moore, Heidi Klum, Vanessa Minnillo, Sarah Chalke and, of course, Miss Spears herself, E! is reporting that James Van Der Beek is now paddling himself out of the increasingly swampy confines of Obscurity Creek and into the Land Of Laugh Tracks.