· A happy thought as we head into the weekend: Before joining this morning's negotiations, the WGA released a statement addressing rumors currently circulating that the studios are soon going to accuse the writers of stalling, storm away from the bargaining table until after the holidays, and trash the entire fall TV and spring seasons in an effort to prolong the strike. The Guild assures the public that it wants to continue negotiations for as long as it takes to get a deal done, and that no one should take seriously the full-page THE WGA WANTS TO DESTROY CHRISTMAS ad, featuring a Santa Claus bludgeoned to death with a WGA picket sign, that the AMPTP will take out in major publications on Monday. [Variety]
· The strike has decimated the ratings for late night shows, as TV audiences are unwilling to sit through the repeats that have been running since writers hit the picket line in early November. The Tonight Show has been the most adversely affected, with numbers off 40 percent from last year. Amazingly, viewers are finding that "vintage" Leno episodes featuring the hottest stars of 1994 plugging long-forgotten projects haven't aged well. [Variety]

The Internet on the iPhone isn't some fake, watered-down version of the Web. It's going to be an iPhone-optimized Internet, which of course amounts to the same thing. Here's a screenshot of CBS News's image- and video-free efforts. It's so incredibly fast and efficient, I might just start using it on my Mac, too.

· Paramount acquires the rights to the life of spy Kathi Lynn Austin, whose arms-trafficking and terrorism-related adventures could become "an action vehicle" for Angelina Jolie that will ultimately bear little to no resemblance to the intelligence operative's real life. [Variety]
· To help CBS survive the strike/break the wills of writers, Les Moonves plans to repurpose edited versions of Showtime series like Dexter for use on his content-starved broadcast network, though it's unclear whether this idea will include a fucking-lite version of Californication. [THR]
· Publicists love Judd Apatow! He'll be named 2007's "outstanding film showman" at the 45th annual Flackies. [Variety]

· Hoping to heal the emotional damage he once inflicted upon national treasure Steven Spielberg by declaring the director's possible departure from his corporate family "completely immaterial," Viacom CEO Philippe Dauman offered a conciliatory flurry of hugs, kisses and a vigorous foot massage to the icon he once offended, calling him "one of the great filmmakers of our time and actually of all time," and promising that "We're going to proceed with calm, with deliberateness, and our entire objective is to focus on making him happy doing what he's doing. Whatever makes him happy and makes us happy will be the way it works out" as they continue to try and salvage their relationship. [Variety]
· The strike clock, as always, is ticking: if things aren't settled "in the next few weeks," pilot season—and the booze-drenched upfronts parties TV reporters so look forward to each year—could be lost. [THR]

Swedish file sharing site Pirate Bay has added widgets from music recommendation site Last.fm to its system to give extra information about music shared on the site. Last.fm told The Register that while it does not endorse the Pirate Bay, it won't forbid them from using Last.fm widgets either. That wouldn't be "in the spirit" of its API — the specifications by which Last.fm allows other websites to incorporate its tools into their pages.

Facebook has bigger problems than the possibility of an FTC inquiry. 60 Minutes correspondent Lesley Stahl recently visited the company's Palo Alto offices, says Kara Swisher of AllThingsD. According to Swisher, Stahl interviewed CEO Mark Zuckerberg and Chris Kelly, the network's chief privacy officer. Which can only mean one thing: A major exposé on Facebook coming soon on the hard-hitting CBS news show. Don't think it's serious?

·The strike indefinitely delays two more star-studded productions, with Johnny Depp's Shantaram and Nine, Chicago director Rob Marshall's next musical (with Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz), having their planned early-2008 start dates postponed. [Variety]
· The WGA agrees not to picket Paramount on December 1st, answering Elizabeth Taylor's appeal not to interfere with her benefit performance of "Love Letters" with all their loud chanting and potentially legend-upstaging strike-dancing. [Variety]
· Meanwhile, CBS News employees have overwhelmingly authorized a strike of their own, allowing the WGA to fight a two-front war if it so chooses. [Variety]

You've heard the rumors and now they're confirmed: Katie Couric is a bitch after all. On the other hand, bitch is also hilarious. In this My Damn Channel video, discovered by the Daily News, Couric makes a coitus interruptus joke, says "Bro, what up?" and makes fun of Dan Rather. Oooh, she fierce! This is on the same day CBS filed a motion to have Rather's $70 million lawsuit dismissed. Talk about comedic timing!

· Seth Rogen and Elizabeth Banks are cast in Kevin Smith's Zach and Miri Make a Porno, the story of two platonic friends who try to use the power of hardcore pornography to solve their debt problems. As the actors previously appeared together in The 40 Year Old Virgin, this film represents the kind of re-teaming effort that drives us so wild with delight. [Variety]
· In one of the final Thursday night shoot-outs at the Nielsen Corral before the networks expend all of their first-run-episode ammunition, CBS defeats ABC. [THR]

Just like in last night's episode of The Office, Dan Rather and his ex-employer CBS have become bitter estranged lovers. In the latest installment of the former CBS Evening News anchor's battle with the network, CBS responded to the lawsuit Rather had filed on September 19th by asking a Manhattan judge to dismiss the case. Rather claims that "the network violated his contract by giving him too little to do after it forced him off the evening news in 2005." The network claims that "this lawsuit is a regrettable attempt by plaintiff Dan Rather to remain in the public eye, and to settle old scores and perceived slights, based on an array of far-fetched allegations." It's like the media version of the "You don't pay attention to me anymore/Girl, you crazy!" argument but with $70 million dollars at stake. Oh yeah, and a courtly old man's dignity, too!

Hey San Francisco, how's the free public Wi-Fi from Google coming? Oh yeah, some of the more leftist among you insist that free Wi-Fi should be a municipal utility. Let me know how that works out for you. In the meantime, over here in New York, one of our Old Media patrons, CBS, was kind enough to hook up all of midtown with free Internet access. We'll let you know how it works on an iPhone. Cheers!

· The writers strike could result in a windfall for Edward Zwick and Marshall Herskovitz, who are reportedly in talks with NBC for the acquisition of blogtastic new online series Quarterlife, which is scheduled to premiere on the MySpaces on Sunday. If the alleged deal should fall through, forward-thinking network president Ben Silverman will announce that once he's out of new episodes of Bionic Woman, he'll run an hour of grainy YouTube footage of cheerleading-competition bloopers in its place. [THR]
· Had enough of the writers strike yet? Good news: a newer, fresher walkout by the stagehands union could be on its way, forcing Broadway productions to go dark. As we've said before: Strike fever, catch it! [Variety]
· A two-hour, crossover block of CSI/Without a Trace episodes brought CBS a ratings victory Thursday night, as viewers flocked to the network to enjoy every moment of their last few weeks of barely differentiated crime-procedural programming. [THR]

Sumner Redstone, the 82-year-old chairman of Viacom and CBS, may not use email, blogging, Twitter, or text messaging, but he does understand his business. During his keynote speech at Dow Jones and Nielsen's Media and Money conference, he unleashed a series of pithy quotes. On copyright: "If content is king, copyright is its castle." On YouTube: "Think about it: You cannot pay the rent posting videos on YouTube." On syndication: "We are now in a fragmented search economy, which means we need to extend our content beyond our own destination sites so consumers can reach it more easily ... The content mountain has officially relocated." [Forbes]

Digg is close to announcing its sale to a major media player for $300 million to $400 million, according to sources close to the company, I hear. When I floated this Digg rumor past some knowledgeable friends, several scoffed: "When isn't Digg up for sale?" It's true: The news-discussion site is perpetually in talks — but we hear the price tag always sinks potential deals before they're consummated. CBS, for example, backed off, with effervescent dealmaker Quincy Smith citing the media company's bubbly $280 million purchase of Last.fm as the reason it couldn't bid a high price for Digg. Things are different now, though.

·The future of online entertainment is now, and Forest Whitaker is stepping boldly into the brave, new world of selling out interactively: the Oscar winner is teaming with Pepsi for a web-based fantasy game called Dewmocracy, in which players will ultimately help create a new, totally extreme flavor of The Dew . [Variety]
· In belt-tightening measures meant to help them survive the strike, agencies are cutting back on overtime, travel, expenses, and baby consumption. With the vast majority of their revenue tied to TV and film, a prolonged work stoppage could mean that chop-shops like CAA would no longer be able to afford the freshest, straight-from-the-nursery infants they're accustomed to gobbling, and may have to temporarily switch to cheaper, lower-quality frozen toddlers until business returns to normal levels. [Variety]

AOL and CBS have cancelled their efforts to stream HD video online because of extremely low viewership. Which is no doubt due to extremely high borership. [PaidContent]

Congratulations are in order for ABC, the network deemed marginally less lily-white than its borderline-albino broadcast rivals in a television diversity report just released by Multi-Ethnic Media Coalition. Behind the leadership of televisionary Steve McPherson—an executive unafraid to crack some skulls when his shows begin to lag behind their diversity benchmarks—and hits like Ugly Betty, ABC easily triumphed over competition that was either satisfied to maintain the Caucasian status quo or backslide further into the alabaster void:

Remember Second Life, the metaverse that seems to garner more mentions in the press than actual users? Well, CSI: NY treated us all to a lamer version of reality last night, incorporating Linden Lab's lonely virtual world into its plot. What we want to know: Why can't CBS understand that all we want from it is some Jessica Fletcher and a few sunny-skied pharmaceutical commercials?

A crucial part of the mourning process for a network forced to euthanize a hopelessly enfeebled, Nielsen-sick primetime child is the speedy removal of its web presence, a compassionate measure that stops heartbroken programming executives from obsessively surfing over to the show's page in hopes a message promising "ALL NEW EPISODE THIS SUNDAY AT 10 PM! " will magically appear.