Perhaps the most excruciating part about yesterday's technical difficulties was knowing that there was an eBay auction involving an artifact of recent historical significance waiting to be snapped up and having no way to share it with you, the enthusiastic collector of Objects Dislodged From Larger Objects Owned (Or Perhaps Leased) By Celebrities. Behold the alleged passenger side headlight from Lindsay Lohan's recently (and infamously) totaled Mercedes:

In the rapidly approaching future, the DNA that once produced successful pop-stars will be degraded by its commingling with the inferior genes of suspiciously fertile, unemployed background dancers, and a recording industry decimated by the resulting lack of marketable talent will pay any price for a cloneable sample of that prelapsarian, platinum-selling genetic material. It is then that your great-grandchildren will finally recognize your speculative, $250 investment in a pumice stone that may or may not have rubbed against Britney Spears's skin for its genius.

Not remembering that Jennifer Aniston's teenage love letters won't be up for sale until Friday, we got a little impatient and popped on over to eBay to look for them. Frankly, with so much money potentially at stake, we're surprised to find that only three go-getters are trying to capitalize so far. How hard it is to scribble a credible expression of one's ardor on a scrap on Charmin for a shot at an auction windfall? And we really admire the honesty of the guy who not only admits that his letters are fake, but went through the trouble of inserting himself into some pictures with Aniston anyway. He deserves more than the current high bid of $12.07 just for his note asking Jen to "Please leave the toilet seat up when you're done!"

A California lawyer is celebrating the lost love of his youth, a pre-fame, 15-year-old Jennifer Aniston, in the only way that makes sense in the internet era: by auctioning off all of his memories of their summer fling on eBay for a minimum of $100,000: