It was a little over three years ago that the Onion lampooned the idea of a highbrow quarterly spinoff of Us Weekly. Now, thanks to the American cult of celebrity, this "joke" has finally come true! The celebrity gossip rag is expanding, via an unnamed new publication, into the slightly more highbrow topic of celebrity fashion, the Wall Street Journal reports this morning. Us owner Jann Wenner is chasing the success of People's StyleWatch, which now publishes 10 times per year and circulates more widely than Vogue. Given the "fashion" choices of many celebrities, that's insane. It's also a singular accomplishment: Time Inc.'s In Style and American Media's Star both launched failed fashion spinoffs. Maybe Wenner thinks he can do better. Or maybe he's just trying to jack up the price he'll fetch when the magazine overlord finally sells off (as long rumored) the Us portion of his empire. Notes the Journal:

Maybe it should have been obvious that the celebrity weeklies were going to politicize as soon as Hillary Clinton and her supporters showed strong resistance, during the primary season, to acquiescing to Barack Obama, thus highlighting the importance of women voters in 2008. But the heightened political importance of the magazines, whose readers are overwhelmingly female, wasn't in anyone's face until this week, when Us Weekly made waves with its controversial "Babies, Lies & Scandal" Sarah Palin cover. The issue, unflattering to Palin, has so far resulted in 5,000-10,000 cancelled subscriptions, MSNBC.com's gossip column is reporting. (Though MSNBC's Courtney Hazlett is close to Us Weekly's rivals; and-see below-the magazine's Janice Min says the losses are overstated.)

Kent Brownridge, former deputy to magazine mogul Jann Wenner and recent overlord to Maxim and Blender, is now general manager of the U.S. edition of free-spending celebrity weekly OK!. It seems that between billionaire owner Richard Desmond supplying famous-baby-photo cash and editors Sarah Ivens and the creepy Rob Shuter keeping sources fluffed, OK! needed someone to, like, sell some ads or something. Brownridge apparently didn't compile a stellar track record doing that for Maxim and company, which earlier this month squeezed him from his job, but as Shuter knows, OK! is fast becoming a miraculous land of second media-industry chances. [Post]

Oh look, the celebrity PR flack continues to die. Well, for some. Actress Lindsay Lohan's shiftless mook of a father recently lashed out at Linds' bff (or gf), deejay Samantha Ronson, who was rumored to be writing some kind of tell-all book. He called her fame hungry and accused her of using Lindsay and blah blah blah pot kettle blah blah. Both LiLo and SamRo publicly reacted to the news, pioneering into relatively uncharted territory. Lindsay ran squealing to gossip show Access Hollywood, calling her father "out of control" and just sorta, you know, defeating the purpose of telling someone else to rein it in. But later on, Lindsay decided to close the barn door herself and write a "sensible" and thorough blog post, perhaps not realizing that a whole Assateague Island's worth of horses had already escaped. Samantha demurely (as far as "demurely" goes in this festering hellhole of a world) circumvented all the conventional channels and went right to the people first. Via her MySpace blog of course! Lindsay and Sam are not the first people of note to do this, but they are embroiled in some pretty high profile antics, unlike other MySpace celebrity bloggers like the low-profile, dim and withered Courtney Love. Which is to say, right now these girls are pretty famous and wouldn't it be interesting to see someone huge like, say, Katie Holmes, respond to scandal with a humble blog entry? While it's debatable just how modest and un-self-possessed a blog entry, aimed at the public, about oneself, really is, it's certainly less middlemany and corporate and hungry than going on a television show to air one's delicates. Plus you have control over your own words! (Though, you do run the risk of drunk-blogging.) It may seem suicidal, but it would be fascinating to watch the celebrity-to-civilian relationship develop into a one-on-one internet relationship, completely strangling the gossip industry, which would be forced to just repurpose blog entries that everyone had already read. I mean cause that's totes not what we do already.

Judging from the Times Style section profile of Michael Kors, the Project Runway judge can't go out in public without being recognized and accosted. But what's the financial upside on Kors' two-year association with the fantastically popular reality show? Kors' sales at Bergdorf Goodman in Manhattan are up 50 percent over three years, which is encouraging. But some of that success has to be credited to a 2003 capital infusion from two British jewelry investors and, allegedly, to Kors' dogged prowling of sales floors. When the Times finally buttonholed a Kors company executive into estimating the financial benefit from Runway specifically, the returns aren't so bright as the anecdotes suggest: An estimated mere 5 percent bump in gross sales thanks to Runway. The Times' Style writer doesn't say if this compounds each year or is a one-time increase, but a business reality show judge would be fast with a mean quip either way. [Times]

Dave Matthews, Kanye West, and Sheryl Crow are all performing like monkeys for VIPs in Denver this week. Also expected to be skulking around Denver this week are Ben Affleck, Josh Brolin, Annette Bening, Spike Lee, Anne Hathaway, Susan Sarandon and Charlize Theron, according to AFP. Oh, and Bruce Springsteen and Jon Bon Jovi are performing before and after Obama's acceptance speech, at that stadium! Soooo many celebrities! Because America loves its celebrities, except that it also despises and resents them. You know how most of America's problems are caused not by the disastrous failure of government over the last like 30 years but by, uh, Tim Robbins? Yes, of course you do! So do Republicans, who learned long ago that the only thing America loved more than obsessively consuming pop culture object is loudly decrying the creators of those objects as unAmerican queers. The fact that Hollyweird (along with the music and television weird-ustries) caters directly and scientifically to every desire of every American demographic does not mean that anyone actually likes famous people, because, obviously, they are misanthropic wealthy blinkered assholes whose lives bear no resemblance to the lives of their audiences. Which is true! They are! Just like politicians and their constituencies! Except no one knows who their Representative is, and everyone knows who Ben Affleck is. He is the Vince Vaughan who isn't funny! And then it gets really odd, because even someone like Bruce Springsteen-who is unreservedly beloved by basically all white people older than 30-suddenly becomes a loathed example of garish flashy wealth when he sings a song for a Democrat. But, you may say, if you actually like Bruce Springsteen it is patently obvious that he has always sang bleeding heart songs about losers betrayed by their countries! But he also sings about cars which cause the Global Warming, which is a myth except when liberal celebrities have big houses, and then it is real. So. Now Obama has to "stay away" from these famous people, except for the ones singing to him on TV, and also George Clooney has issued a press release announcing that he's never texted Barack Obama. George Clooney, in case you are unfamiliar with him, is basically the single most well-liked man in America, which is why his support for Barack Obama is the kiss of death. Of course, if you are a Republican, you get to have the support of shitty country acts who are massively, hugely, insanely popular across the entire country except in the places where journalists live, so they don't count as "celebrities." Get it? Photoshop: Steve Dressler

The Observer writes a fawning piece today about former LA party girl turned newly-minted downtown queen Kirsten Dunst, touting the actress's low-key demeanor, her vintage slingbacks and Ray-Bans gestalt, and every other imagined quality that's bestowed, vainly by its residents, upon any "thoughtful" boho celebrity who moves to this city. New York makes celebrities relatable and funky and, most important of all, just like us!, the thinking seems to be. Except, sigh, it's all kind of pretend.

Leslie Kaufman's feature on Waverly Inn for the Times dining section reads too cutesy and is almost nakedly self-ingratiating. The writer couldn't find one angry chef or would-be patron to slag Graydon Carter's It-restaurant? But the piece is well-researched, on its own puffy terms, and thus useful to those strivers eager to be seen among the restaurant's celebrity diners, no matter how expensive the macaroni or rich the wine list. Here, then, is a quick list of the ways to lose friends and alienate people, and perhaps accomplish the opposite, at the Waverly:

Remember how yesterday we told bloggers they should insist on getting paid because "someone is making money off your work and your content?" That argument applies to the creative side of pretty much any corporate media endeavor. But all rules have their exceptions, and Exhibit A, for today at least, is Project Runway mentor Tim Gunn. For the show's first season, Gunn worked for free, it has emerged in court. Meanwhile, Harvey Weinstein and his Weinstein Co. were milking the show for every last dollar. In season two, Gunn took home just $2,500 per episode. These days, of course, he has his own spinoff program, a best-selling book and a cushy executive suite gig at Liz Claiborne. So should everyone go throwing their labor around for free? Of course not! Here's why it worked for Gunn:

Oh, hey, look who got a blog or column or whatever on the Huffington Post — Joe Dolce! How convenient that is for the thoroughly obnoxious former Star editor, because it turns out his new PR business, shepherded into existence by patron and fellow sometime slimeball James Frey, is promising clients it can "guide you through the new media landscape — ensuring that the attention you receive is the attention you want." The HuffPo slot will surely prove useful in that regard! Or at least it will once Dolce and business partner Davidson Goldin scare up some clients. For now, Dolce appears to be using his column to do some ambitious prospecting. He suggests a "summit" between celebrities and paparazzi, which will never work, especially given who Dolce suggests might host it:

So this is where the career trajectory of Ashley Dupre has led: A $2 million offer from "an entertainment network and a major studio" for virtually all media rights to her high-priced hooker story, including an interview, reality show and possible book. The story was broken in the Post, so Fox's TV and movie divisions are decent bets. As the scandal over her onetime john Eliot Spitzer cools toward tepid, it's hard to imagine Dupre getting a better deal, no matter how many more times paparazzi "catch" her in a hotel with a married construction heir or on the beach in a bikini. Oh, also, here are the three insane careers Dupre is interested in once she gets her payday and this scandal blows over:

The last time we checked in with Lindsay Lohan and her lesbian lady friend Samantha Ronson, the couple was embroiled in a scandalous toe-stepping scandal that culminated in Lohan ditching Ronson and Ronson shouting "Are you leaving," scandalously. Fellow patrons at the Waverly Inn were, well, scandalized. Possibly shocked fans may also have been distraught that the relationship ended mere weeks after its explicitly acknowledgement in the tabloids and a mere year after they started cavorting in public together. Well, prepare to cry more tears of loss, LoRo lovers, because, according to an emailed stalker sighting, the couple are acting like they're just friends — no graphic make-out sessions or whatever we expect celebrity lesbian couples to do when we see them in a public place.

It looks like American Media didn't cut its $2.4-million-per-year editorial chief Bonnie Fuller fast enough: the tabloid publisher is reportedly nearly broke, desperately trying to raise money before a bunch of junk bonds come due in February. Granted, those bonds are worth $415 million, so Fuller's salary is only a sliver of the problem, but had Fuller delivered on hopes she could improve Star and National Enquirer enough to beat back competitors like Us Weekly and People perhaps the situation might not be so bleak. The company's worth has fallen by half in seven months, and its private equity owners will likely give up equity to keep it going. Perhaps some sort of juicy scandal will come along to breathe some life into the firm! [Post]

Female->male transsexual Thomas Beatie is featured in People magazine today with his new daughter Susan Juliette, born June 29 in Bend, Oregon without a c-section (which would make it a "natural birth," haters!). GaySocialites.com said the child will live a "confusing life" because of the father's love for the spotlight, adding that admirers of the pioneering birth should bear in mind that "you don't go on the cover of People magazine for free honey!" Actually, that's very true!

That's Cuba Gooding Jr. (natch), Lucy Liu, Jim Caviezel, Adrien Brody (sigh), Ben Chaplin, Wes Bentley, Emma Stone (really?), and the doomed Heather Graham. Well, these are The Playlist's picks for who needs new representation. We agree with most of the choices, except for Emma Stone, who is so new to the scene that it's hard to tell. In fact, we think she could be a member of the Tabloid Class of 2010. We've added another suggestion after the jump.

You might remember Jesse Washington: He's the Associated Press editor who last year issued an ill-conceived ban on Paris Hilton news that, after much to-do, was lifted in less than two weeks. Within a year, the AP went entirely in the other direction, telling staffers "everything involving [celebrity] Britney [Spears] is a big deal," a reversal Washington awkwardly, and overenthusiastically, joined, again making waves with the announcement that the wire had already written Spears' obituary amid the singer's psychiatric breakdowns. He also rather rashly said in a video interview that "if you want to know that it really happened [in celebrity news], then you're going to have to go to AP... If we put it out, you can bet the house on it that it really happened." That hyperbolic claim was undermined a few months later, when a source claimed "the AP misquoted me" as saying actor Paul Newman had cancer. Having displayed such a nuanced touch, what might Washington's future be at the wire service? Why, covering the sensitive topic of race and ethnicity! In fact, Washington beat out 448 other applicants for the position of national writer on such matters, according to an AP staff memo from U.S. News Managing Editor Mike Oreskes:

When Barack Hussein Obama summers in his ancestral home of Iraq in a few weeks, along with some other foreign places, the trip will, of course, turn into an elite party for his showbiz friends, all of whom are clamoring for seats on his campaign plane. Katie Couric of the CBS Evening News is arranging an on-trip interview, as is Brian Williams of NBC Nightly News and Charles Gibson of ABC World News. Meet The Press wants to talk to Obama. "Star political reporters from the major newspapers and magazines" are also coming, the Times reports for Thursday's paper. So, why all the enthusiasm? John McCain's last big tour in the war zone was relegated to the evening news remainders bin. And the network newscasts have already given Obama 114 minutes of coverage since June, to McCain's 48, according to some study. The official reason: This is Obama's first overseas trip since becoming the presumptive Democratic nominee. The real reason? Let's ask some starfucking magazine editors!

Babies! Famous people have been having them! And then they also sell photographs of the babies because, in some twisted Dina Lohanian world of logic, selling the photos of the babies somehow mitigates the other paparazzi attention the little squirming things would inevitably receive. It's a highwire act of faux inferential reasoning, but it seems to be popular. Probably because of those millions of dollars. Brad & Angie (Pitt & Jolie) haven't yet announced plans to sell their new twins' souls (if you believe the Injuns), but they did hawk pictures of their other real kid, Shiloh, donating the proceeds to charity. So yeah, lots of people are doing it. But who hasn't? Which big-time celebs adamantly refuses to publicize, for no valid reason, their progeny? Take a look at a little gallery after the jump.

Savvy media watchers are beginning to note that the birth of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's twins July 12 indicates they probably were not born in May, as Entertainment Tonight reported at the time. Amid intense scrutiny, the showbiz show in June yanked the story from its website, but its executive producer insisted "we are waiting to see how this plays out" before issuing a retraction. And now that everything has played out as expected, with ET looking stupid, the show has buried its admission of error on some blog, and will not issue a retraction or say anything on broadcast TV. “We have moved on and so have our viewers,” a show spokesman told the Times. Well, sure, but will any of us really trust ET for crucial celebrity baby news again? Not celebrity blogger (and Daily Show host) Jon Stewart, whose June 5 wrapup of the whole scandal is after the jump.

Now that Bonnie Fuller's been kicked out of American Media, she can finally reveal the dirty secrets of how the Celebrity Tabloid game is really played. It's all an elaborate Watergate-like conspiracy! The celebs are in collusion with the glossies! You know that thing where baseball player Alex Rodriguez was suddenly hanging out with Madonna and divorcing his wife? Remember that? You know how none of it made any sense? Well Fuller-whose career in the tabloid trenches gives her a special understanding of how these sorts of stories work-smells a rat. An aerobics-addicted 49-year-old celebrity rat.