The spanking-new Us Weekly isn't buying the Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes breakup; in fact, it's not even on their radar. As a stunning fuck you to their celebrity weekly competition, Janice Min's gang is trying to trump the rumor mill with something they can actually prove: Jessica Simpson is a total skankbot. The magazine confirms rumors that Simpson has been more than just dry-humping Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine; their affair reportedly stretches back as far as 2004, continuing through the dying days of Simpson's marriage to Nick Lachey. After Simpson and Lachey separated, Simpson apparently returned to Levine's home at the Chateau Marmont: