Do your fingers ever begin to feel numb after spending, oh, two or three hours talking on your cell phone non-stop? You may have a new medical condition! "Orthopedic specialists are reporting cases of "cell phone elbow," in which patients damage an essential nerve in their arm by bending their elbows too tightly for too long." Unfortunately for these same specialists, the cure is not particularly complicated (or give them an opportunity to bill your insurance company for thousands): "The advice is simple: Switch hands—before it gets worse." [CNN]

A couple of weeks ago, state officials issued a report indicating New York City may need a new area code in the near future. It seems phone numbers for the 718 and 347 area codes—which are in use in Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island, and the Bronx—will run out by late 2011. Cindy Adams doesn't live in any of those boroughs (her apartment is a Park Avenue penthouse, thank you very much), but she's still outraged by the prospect: "Making someone get another area code is like making them move to the back of the bus. It's discrimination."

The Times has tackled the perils of texting on two occasions this week. (See here and here.) Teenagers are so determined to communicate with their peers, they're going without sleep to do it! They're texting in the middle of class and now their grades are dropping! Millions of teenage thumbs are now in need of medical attention! It's "texting anarchy," reports Cindy Post Senning, Emily Post's great-granddaughter. But aren't there times when texting is okay? "What about if they are stuck sitting at a table with a bunch of strangers at a wedding dinner or charity event, and the person on the other end is their spouse, who is being hijacked by Jihadists, and possibly sending their last goodbyes?" Every once in awhile, there are some shades of gray! [The Feedbag]

Your baby daughter is wailing. You'd really like to quiet her down, but you don't want to have to actually interact with her to make it happen. What to do? Let your cell phone do the work, naturally! As one dad tells it, when his infant daughter starts to get "fussy" in the car or during a walk, he simply turns on the free iPhone app "White Noise Lite" and drops it into her carrier. "It immediately relaxes her," he explains, which is nice since that makes two of them.

Paris Hilton is involved in some lawsuit over God knows what, and as part of a deposition, she was asked about several entries on her cell phone bill. Her response? "I've never looked at my phone bill in my entire life," she explained, adding that she didn't even know who paid the bill in the first place. "With my phone I never know, because I lose it all the time... I probably get a new cell phone like every two weeks." Of course, she could afford to lose her cell phone every hour of the day if she felt like it: Court documents indicate she raked in $22 million from 2006-07 thanks to sponsorship deals and public appearances. One of the companies that chipped in a good deal of that? Cell phone giant Motorola. Naturally. [TSG, AP]

Things were simpler when the only medium for asking someone out was the telephone. Text messaging, Facebook, Twitter and MySpace have complicated romance, if not ruined it, the Washington Post reports.

A Bernie Madoff game for mobile phones is in the works. "Made Off" will allow gamers to operate their own Ponzi scheme on the go, and is sure to be a big hit in Palm Beach. [BI]

If you're the kind of person who can't help but yap on your cell phone as you drive, tomorrow would be a good day to resist the temptation. The NYPD is planning a crackdown on drivers who talk and drive at the same time: "Officers on all kinds of routine patrol, across the city, will pay extra attention to the issue for a 24-hour period. Those caught using a hand-held cellphone will face a fine of $120." On a positive note, any cab ride you happen to take tomorrow will probably be a whole lot quieter. [NYT]

Just the news you were waiting for: The Aura, Motorola's brand new $2,000 cell phone, went on sale today. Three tungsten-carbon-carbide-coated main gears! A scratch-resistant, 62-carat, grade 1 sapphire crystal display! Say no more! [NYT]

What would you do for some free cell phone porn? Stand on one foot? Lick the pavement? Ha, Playboy is willing to work with you on this! Now, what would you do if it wasn't exactly porn, but a reality show webisode thing? You'd participate in a convoluted cell phone-based marketing scheme, wouldn't you. There's babes involved!

No man is above the law — not even multibillionaire Google CEO Eric Schmidt. At least that's what we hear from a well-placed tipster, who says Schmidt recently confessed to having been pulled over by the cops last month in Los Angeles for talking on his cell phone while driving. (California law recently changed to require the use of a headset.) Oh, but it gets worse for Schmidt.We haven't gotten anyone from Google or Yahoo to confirm this bit, but we're told cops interrupted a call Schmidt was making to Yahoo CEO Jerry Yang to discuss how to get a proposed advertising deal past government regulators. The deal was blocked. Schmidt, who endorsed Barack Obama late in the election cycle and got tapped to his board of economic advisors, could use his newfound political clout to get the pesky law overturned. The cell-phone rule, or the antitrust one — we're not sure which one is more bothersome to him. (Photoillustration by Richard Blakeley)

Ah England, home to both world-class soccer hooliganism and a world-class reputation for stuffiness. What we're implying is that any outwardly polite Brit is, at any given moment, seething with murderous rage. Well! It seems that a BBC radio interview this morning took a turn for the wacky when the interviewee's cell phone went off, live on air! Which caused the host, John Humphrys, to threaten to take the man out back and shoot him dead. Funny Brits! Click to listen to the tape. Gunshot not included.

Just in time to catch the last few consumers in denial about the economy and still willing to pay unnecessary amounts of money for the privilege of having a designer logo on their cellphone, both Porsche and Prada are coming out with new phones next month: Prada's has a first-of-its-kind slide-out qwerty keyboard, but Porsche's has an auto-focus video camera. As if there weren't already enough tough decisions to make right now! [WWD]

Doctors — or dermatologists, are those doctors too? — in London have made a connection between people with unexplained face and ear rashes and cell-phone usage. They're calling it "mobile phone dermatitis," an allergic reaction caused by prolonged exposure to the phones' nickel-metal surfaces. Suggested remedy? Buy a Bluetooth headset, or just stop talking so much. [Yahoo/Reuters]

Although companies can measure how many TV commercials, radio commercials, and internet ads you're exposed to, it's just not enough. What about snatches of radio ads overheard through the windows of passing cars—do they affect your shampoo-buying habits? When you were at the gym and walked briskly past a television showing a "Synecdoche, New York" preview—did you write any Philip Seymour Hoffman fan fiction in the following six months? These details are important. Luckily one firm has figured out how to make your cell phone snitch on you to the marketing Matrix: A company called IMMI is perfecting software that goes in your cell phone and catches every snippet of audio you're exposed to, then automatically determines which ads you heard. And more!

Yet another good reason to upgrade your old cell phone: police commissioner Ray Kelly announced today that potential crime stoppers can now send in videos to 911 via their mobile devices. In case the timing of the announcement has confused you, crimes against fashion do not count. Those should continue to be directed to Robert Verdi. [City Room]

Wondering what happens to your poor old cell phone when you toss it in the garbage so you can upgrade to a gleaming, new iPhone? Here's your answer! [Technology Review via Gizmodo]

In the market for an 18-karat gold iPhone? How about a diamond-encrusted cell with a screen made of sapphire crystals? No? That's probably because you're not Lacey Tisch. The daughter of Loews co-chairman (and billionaire) Andrew Tisch, Lacey took time to expound on the subject for the Sun today, suggesting that consumers are sick of cell phones that simply function. What they really want are luxury models from Prada, Giorgio Armani, and Bang & Olufsen: "What else are you going to put in your $15,000 Birkin bag? Not the latest free phone from Verizon, that's for sure."

When you see some random guy walking down a crowded street talking on his cell phone, lost in his own world, you probably think to yourself: there is a man I would like to smash right in the face. If a cell phone company were to find some way to successfully incorporate that feeling into its marketing plan, it would be genius. Instead, US Cellular goes and makes what is, by critical consensus, the most asinine cell phone ad of the year. That's because its premise is that that same man walking along yakking obliviously into his cell would actually make the entire world around him happy. Which just makes you want to smash him even more:

The videos of cell phones popping popcorn, obviously fake (because Science!), were viral ads by the makers of a Bluetooth headset. Pretty evil, since they preyed on unfounded fears of technology instead of, say, the California law that went into action today banning cell use while driving.