Scientists emerged from their particle-smashers on Tuesday to let the world know that they still haven't found the Higgs boson—the so-called "God particle" that could explain why objects have mass—and that they still need a few more months, at least, to find this totally real thing that is not an excuse for physicists to throw lavish parties inside the enormous CERN dome with all that grant money:

Remember a few months ago, when a group of scientists observed subatomic particles going faster than the speed of light, possibly overturning one of the foundational laws of Einsteinian physics? They just did it again. Or for the first time? Who can tell! Time is meaningless now!

In a paper today, scientists from Switzerland's CERN lab reveal they created and trapped a form of antimatter for the first time ever. There's no practical use for this except, you know, figuring out why the universe exists.

The Large Hadron Collider Doomsday Machine was ready to shock the world today with a huge explosion that normal people cannot understand. But it failed. The Guardian's live blogger was disappointed. Update: It worked! But we're still alive.

A physicist at CERN, the lab that is building the Large Hadron Collider—which will destroy the planet by igniting a black hole and catapulting us into an alternate dimension—has been arrested in France on suspicion of Al-Qaeda ties.

Do you lay awake at night worried that physicists tinkering in Geneva at the new Large Hadron Collider might destroy reality as we know it, or are you hoping they open a portal to a parallel dimension that just happens to have really hawt aliens? I do. Both. If you don't, let Will Barras and friends take you on a ride in their ode to the search for the Higgs boson. Mad props for the Stephen Hawking shoutout on the hype track.