Imagine if 100 years after you died, people started analyzing every text you'd ever sent, uncovering deleted punctuation and word choices and debating among themselves why you messaged that guy you were merely "looking forward to the party," when earlier drafts revealed you were, in fact, "so excited to see [him]!!"

Discovered on the Metro North New York-Connecticut commuter line: The Christmas wish list of one brand-conscious lass, along with her presumed boyfriend's handwritten notes of confusion and horror. Updated with a new theory.

Author Jodi Picoult's raging about the New York Times ignoring her hokey movie-bait books continues. Why should the Times highlight her commercial fiction? "Think about Charles Dickens. Think about Shakespeare. They were popular authors. They were writing for the masses."

Lindsay Lohan's house may have been broken into, live! Katie Holmes inspired creepy Scientology fashion lines. Charles Dickens was a ladies' man's momma's boy. Jeremy Piven: alive. Bill Clinton: bedbugged. Anna Paquin: nekkid. Presenting your Sunday Morning Gossip Roundup: