The Colbert Report ran down some of the lesser known stories of the day. Stephen Colbert endorsed kiddie fashion and the continued cyborg-ization of Dick Cheney, but he reacted negatively to the idea of all plants having elephants' memories.

The latest headlines don't seem to back up Bush's hubris-filled claim, back in May 2003, that the war was won. 'Wave of Fatal Bombings Widens Fissures in Iraq,' for example. Some US troops will pull out in August. [HuffPo]

The former head of Britain's intelligence service says that the three-headed monster known as Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld fetishized, and were inspired by, Jack Bauer's torture techniques.

This week's New Yorker features a 7600 word profile of Leon Panetta, Obama's choice to lead the CIA. Most notable among those 7600 words: Panetta's been wondering the same thing many have about the depths of Dick Cheney's dark soul.

DC is on fire for once! The "old executive office," an pretty old building basically across the street from the White House, is AFLAME on the "Today Show" right now, due to a problem in an "electrical closet" in the Vice President's "ceremonial office." Mishap in the torture room or is he DESTROYING THE EVIDENCE? We'll never know 'cause "Today" just cut back to Patti LaBelle's fightin' choir. [WP]