Angelina Jolie didn't show up for the premiere of Unbroken this weekend, and it wasn't because she found out last week from the Sony leaks that Hollywood producer Scott Rudin called her a "minimally talented spoiled brat." No, apparently Jolie is hiding her face because it is covered in chickenpox.

A couple weeks ago, when Barbara Walters slipped and cut her head while leaving a party at the British Ambassador's house, we were all secretly jealous of her because knowing British people is so fancy.

A U.S. Attorney in Tenn. has been forced to remind parents not to buy or sell lollipops that have been spat on or licked by children with infectious diseases like chicken pox. So much for the "free market" in Barry Soetero's America, eh?