An Ohio woman who posted some controversial Facebook photos of her baby granddaughter—one in a roasting pan surrounded by potatoes and one with a pacifier duct-taped into her mouth—is surprised that Child Protective Services didn't get her hilarious jokes.

Are you a goal-oriented person who, for career focus-related reasons, has recently placed your newborn in the care of a near-stranger? If so, you should probably prepare some answers for when the police come asking about your baby's whereabouts.

Well, that was quick. Good Morning America reports that Botox Mom Kerry Campbell has lost custody of the 8-year-old daughter she bragged about beautifying with Botox and "virgin waxes." Child Protective Services is investigating the case; in the meantime little Britney Campbell is away from her mother and "doing well." [GMA]

With the simultaneous release of covers stories trumpeting the plight of Britney Spears' two young sons [Ed.note—Weren't there three at one point? Maybe she left one in the Bellagio on her last trip to Vegas. Pls. research.] in progressive-parenting journals Us Weekly and Life & Style, an air-raid siren has been sounded at the headquarters of California Child Protective Services, and a van full of baby-repossession officers immediately dispatched to the Spears residence to investigate explosive charges of infant over-juicing, toddler teeth-whitening, and high-end real estate squatting.