The staff at Dismaland are trained to act like alienated labor, a principle directly out of Marx, and they do not disappoint in being disappointing.

Every child eventually experiences that crushing day when he or she realizes that Santa Claus, that totally implausible overweight gift-giver, is (SPOILER) not real. For those of us who thrive on cynicism, it's almost difficult to remember a time when we could be so joyfully naive—it took us a few years to realize that everything is horrible. Here, we've gathered our stories of the day our innocence died. Please share your own in the comments.

With the bleakness of Hurricane Sandy closing in all around—at least on the East Coast—let us not forget that Halloween is also nearly here. To better get our minds off the violent terror that is Mother Nature, we thought it might be a good idea to revel in the slightly less damaging terror of humiliating old Halloween costumes. Because what better way to while away the hours inside than by remembering what a cute or stunningly awkward and lonely child you used to be?

When asked to name some things Charlize Theron had as a child, you might say "exposure to apartheid," "an abusive, alcoholic father," or "an extensive knowledge of classical ballet techniques."

Meet Cecilia Cassini, an 11-year-old fashion maven who has her own clothing line and is set to star in an inevitable reality show. She was on Nate Berkus's little talk program last week and good god. Kids are no more.

Want to be over-involved in your child's life, but can't spare the time it takes to smother them with attention? A service for you: A company is installing webcams at Little League games, so parents can watch from their phones.

Are you currently manically brushing your hair, plastering a smile on your face and saying that today is going to be better, today you're going to be a whole new person? Well, too bad. Science says you'll never change.

We are not very judgmental people, generally, and probably these kids are having a blast dancing their scary little hearts out. But good luck watching this video of five young girls do Beyonce's 'Single Ladies' and not feeling totally uncomfortable!

restaurant consultant, Iron Chef America judge dissing the immature palates of her two children — Jean-Baptiste, 8, and Isabelle, 6 — after letting the New York Post feature them prominently in a story on "koodies." (kid + foodie = blech)

What do you do when the world's economy is falling apart and God only knows when things will get better? Duh! You get together with your friends, pretend that you're six, and start building some sofa-and-blanket forts stat! Dig deep into your memories for the days when food and shelter was someone else's problem, and find some clips that hearken back to those warm and cozy—and lost—times. They don't have to be cartoons, but they do have to be from childhood. That's all. I'll start with my biggest childhood hero.

Each Monday, Intern Alexis uses a rigorous scale to rank the happy pair-bonds cemented in the Times wedding announcements. But surely, the Times can't contain all the nuptial bliss to be experienced in the metro area. Ergo, the Post's weddings section, where the couples require a more flexible scale that can take into consideration differences in, say, life experience, and body type.