Today, a Washington, DC resident writes into The Root's "Race Manners" advice column with an important sartorial question. So important that—for the benefit of our vast white readership—we will also attempt to answer it here.

A 10-year-old girl is the newest ringleader of the international conspiracy to obliterate any memory of the decimated Black city of New Orleans. She's published a book called "Riding The Storm Out," about "a different side of the hurricane," as her press materials coyly put it. In it, a (clearly white) dolphin raised in captivity is forced to live in the wild when Katrina shoves it off to the Superdome the open ocean. Also the book does not discuss how dolphins are gang-rapists. The book has received—connect the dots!— a letter of commendation from George W. Bush. The real-life dolphins on which the book are based now live in the Bahamas, with Anna Nicole's real baby, not the fake one you see on the T.V.