Exciting time to be Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. Dates with each other, dates with significant others, dates over here, dates over there, dates in Central Park, dates at very exclusive parties... As Martin might say, make new girlfriends but keep the old; one is a blonde movie star and the other is also a blonde movie star.

Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin, who were once allegedly dating, have, since they allegedly stopped dating, been seen together, repeatedly, eating food. On Thursday, for example, they ate food in Los Angeles. They were also, the New York Post reports, "laughing and giggling."

In a deeply concerning interview with Harper's Bazaar UK out today, inflated Chia seed Gwyneth Paltrow works through some complicated feelings about her "conscious uncoupling" from rock dad Chris Martin. "There are times when I think it would have been better if we had stayed married," she says.

Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin ended their four-months-long romance earlier this week, but Page Six reports Jennifer Lawrence was seen arriving at Martin's house just last night. Ooooooh.

According to an exclusive E! News report, America's Sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence, 24, and England's rocker dad Chris Martin, 37, broke up. Be not afraid, children, for Gwyneth Paltrow's hex—that bottle of Kiehl's she buried with some twigs in the backyard this summer—worked.

A nude-by-choice Jennifer Lawrence covers Vanity Fair this month, and inside the issue, she hangs out with...what, a cockatoo? A parrot? Who knows. She also talks about getting her nude photos hacked one month after she posed for the cover: It was a "sex crime," she says.

Gwyneth Paltrow loves the Jewish high holidays, and she's starting her 5775 with some new underwear...and a subliminal message.

Gwyneth Paltrow does a pretty good job of embarrassing both her children (Apple and Moses Martin) and God's children (all of us watching), in this video of her champagne sway-dancing onstage with Jay-Z and Chris Martin at the former's New Year's Eve concert.

George Clooney's rumored rebound fling could fling him across the room. Carey Mulligan gets engaged. Kim Kardashian emulates Kate Middleton. Hugh Hefner planks. Demi Lovato credits her success to Barney the dinosaur. Thursday gossip dominates.

Gwyneth's children are members of the tribe. Lindsay Lohan's so-called assault victim sues. Paris Hilton storms out of an interview. Jennifer Aniston introduces her boyfriend to her dad. Thursday gossip is a question of faith.

Gwyneth Paltrow bleeds for her art. Mel Gibson worries his child will become a "retarded brain-damaged idiot." Gerard Butler duets with John Mayer. Jessica Simpson debuts a new engagement ring. Monday gossip pushes through the pain.

So! The Hope For Haiti Telethon was last night, and if you're like everyone else, it was Friday night, and you were out, you selfish fuck. Or all TEAM COCO. Either way, music happened. Timberlake! Beyonce! Swift! Hova! Gospel Choirs!

• Friends worry Jessica Simpson is "at the lowest point of her life" now that she's lost her beloved dog, Daisy. Others say she's coping "better than her friends may realize." Either way, we she's probably feeling much better now that her friends are sharing her innermost feelings with the tabloids. [People]
• The man suspected of breaking into Lindsay Lohan's house wasn't a complete stranger: The two reportedly hung out on the set of her film Labor Pains last year. The girl's not the best judge of character, as you've probably realized by now. [TMZ]
• The drugs that were prescribed to Anna Nicole Smith amounted to "pharmaceutical suicide," according to newly unsealed court documents that were obtained by the LA Times. Most disturbing: The documents also reveal that both of Anna Nicole's doctors "transgressed professional boundaries by having sexual contact with their famous patient." [LAT]
• Michelle Obama gave Barack the silent treatment at points during his campaign for president because she was pissed about all the women throwing themselves at him, according to a new book. There was even a hot young campaign aide who was mysteriously "relocated" after developing a close relationship with the President. [NYDN, P6]
• Did you catch President Obama's appearance on Letterman last night? [MTV]

Joe Francis fought with Brody Jenner and his girlfriend. Kristen Stewart's naked, lacks confidence, blows Robert Pattinson...away. Jason Biggs + Monkey = Comedy. Lily Allen is scary, Jessie Spano needs advice, Oasis broke up. Presenting your Saturday Morning Gossip Roundup.

• Lindsay Lohan's troubles continue: Last week, the cell phone she left behind at a bodega in NYC prompted her to call the cops; now the police in LA are investigating a break-in at her Hollywood Hills home, which her family now says may have been an inside job. [People, TMZ, NYP]
• David Blaine's magic skills have turned a bit rusty. Although he was told not to go swimming in the ocean on account of Hurricane Bill, he jumped in the water at Necox Beach in Watermill anyway. And instead of magically transporting himself to safety, a couple of lifeguards had to go and rescue him and a few of his friends. [NYP]
• Ryan Jenkins, the reality show contestant wanted for murdering (and dismembering) his ex-wife, Playboy model Jasmine Fiore, was found dead of an apparent suicide yesterday. [AP, TMZ]

Jon Gosselin's pissed Kate Major's lying about them being together. Another parent peddles her kids for money when really, she should be a Spider Man villain. Lindsay Lohan gives me Gwyneth's GOOPy runs. Happy Saturday Morning, here we go:

Britney is converting to Judaism, Gwyneth is brainwashing her GOOP death cult into thinking that a cleansed colon is the way to God, Jeremy Piven preaches the horrors of fish and Katy Perry frolics in a bikini in Turkey.

Leo the Great dumped Bar Refaeli, Britney Spears is banging her agent at William Morris, Miley Cyrus dumped her boyfriend and is after Nick Jonas, Lauren Conrad's new novel will be horrendous, and David Carradine bought lots of sex toys.

• Three of disgraced lawyer Marc Dreier's Hamptons homes—including two neighboring mansions on Dune Road in East Quogue and a rundown Westhampton house—are about to hit the market. The East Quogue estates are expected to be listed together for around $12.5 million. [NYP]
• Lisa Bonder Kerkorian, the ex-wife of billionaire Kirk Kerkorian, has gone into contract to sell her Bridgehampton mansion. Originally listed for $16.3 million, the 10,000-square-foot manse is reportedly selling for under its most recent asking price of $7.9 million. [P6, Corcoran]
• Hedge funder Jason Capello paid $15.45 million for a four-bedroom condo at 40 East 66th Street. In January, he sold his 72nd floor apartment at the Time Warner Center for $16.25 million. [Real Deal]
• Former Yankee Bobby Abreu has put his 37th-floor condo at One Beacon Court on the market $7.9 million, which happens to be the same price he listed it for just last year. [Curbed, PDE]

Chris Martin, the husband of Gwyneth Paltrow and lead singer of Coldplay, turns 32 today. Author Tom Wolfe is 79. Lou Reed is turning 67. Restaurateur Jeffrey Chodorow is turning 59. Jon Bon Jovi is 47. Daniel Craig is 41. Hockey player Henrik Lundqvist is 27. Writer John Irving turns 67. Mikhail Gorbachev is 78. Elizabeth Jagger, daughter of Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall, turns 25. Film producer/exec Peter Guber is 67. Cosmetic dentist to the stars Marc Lowenberg is 63. And Reggie Bush, the football player and boyfriend of Kim Kardashian, turns 24 today.