Chris Matthews accidentally called his home network MSNBC on yesterday's 5:00pm airing of Hardball. "MF-NBC" is actually what Fox prefers to call it.

By the time Double Jeopardy rolled around tonight on the Celebrity Invitational we figured that Chris Matthews would reinforce our belief that cable news hosts shouldn't bother trying to prove that they know anything. Chris Matthews, consider our words eaten.

Remember when Chris Matthews said that stupid thing about Obama after the State of the Union last night? "I forgot he was black for an hour tonight." Well, Jon Stewart and Wyatt Cenac made fun of this tonight.

This probably won't end well. Following the President's State of the Union address tonight, Chris Matthews took to MSNBC's airwaves to declare that Obama is "post-racial," before stating, "I forgot he was black tonight for an hour." Update: Matthews "clarifies."

Model/actress/designer Milla Jovovich turns 34 today. Hardball host Chris Matthews is turning 64. Penthouse founder Bob Guccione is 79. Director Peter Farrelly (There's Something About Mary, Dumb and Dumber) turns 53. Pete Briger, the president of Fortress Investment Group, is 46. Actor Giovanni Ribisi is turning 35. R.E.M. bassist Mike Mills is turning 51. Actor Bill Pullman is 56. Ultimate fighting champion Chuck Liddell is 40. And actor Eugene Levy turns 63 today.

Hell hath no fury like Chris Matthews when politicians try to do something that they can't technically do.

Demi Moore won't respond to the British Prime Minister's wife. Victoria Beckham won't respond to questions about her tits. And Hugh Hefner doesn't respond well to his wife's infidelity. Oh, yes, it's your Thursday morning Gossip Roundup!

Wonderful. Corrupt criminal America-hating dirtbag crazy liar Tom DeLay is making gay jokes with Chris Matthews on the TV, because of his upcoming appearance on a competitive ballroom dancing show. (Who knew Newt's reemergence would end up being less offensive?)

How many ways can you analyze 30 seconds of silent footage? An infinite number of ways! Over the last 24 hours, cable pundits, our modern Vienna Circle, have explored all the possible meanings of a bunch of guys drinking beers.

Chris Matthews had former Nixon henchman/radio talk show host/Birther G. Gordon Liddy on Hardball tonight to talk about the dumb Obama birth certificate controversy and Liddy looked as though he might die on the air while Matthews surgically debunked him.

If Chris Matthews had run for senate he would have become a pandering "toady" like Arlen Specter, so he would like to obsequiously thank former nemesis Keith Olbermann for welcoming him back to MSNBC.

• You can rest easier now: Now that he's no longer planning to run for Senate, Chris Matthews has signed a new four-year contract with MSNBC. [NYT]
• Howard Dean has signed on to be a CNBC contributor. [HP]
• Major media companies are now looking for a bailout. From Google. [AdAge]
• Jay Leno's chat with Obama was his fourth most-watched show ever. [LAT]
• Some perks may be curtailed at Condé Nast. Like the one that allowed Portfolio editor Joanne Lipman to fly to Davos first-class, possibly. [NYP]
• Advance Publications is instituting mandatory 10-day furloughs and a pension freeze at nearly all of its daily papers, says Steve Newhouse. [E&P]
• Time publisher Don Fries is headed out the door. [NYP]
• NBC is very good at spinning the Times, in case you haven't noticed. [CJR]
• Knowing starring Nic Cage was No. 1 at the box office this weekend. [NYDN]

Barely four months ago, MSNBC nearly doubled Keith Olbemann's annual salary to $7.5 million. Now the network says Chris Matthews has re-upped without much of a raise. Ouch.

Anderson Cooper isn't about to make a dancing fool of himself with Ellen DeGeneres, like those other TV news anchors, whom he helpfully names. Plus, public displays of ardor just aren't his thing.

Oh man. Who even knows why this happened, but Chris Matthews and former Bush press secretary Ari Fleischer had a hilarious bitchy fight a few minutes ago.

In this clip, Chris Matthews ignores everything Darrell Issa says except two words: "Democrat party." And Chris Matthews is sick of this shit. Chris's fuse seems to have gotten pretty short lately!

Last night, as Bobby Jindal began his response to Obama's speech by wandering into his opulent mansion and sitting down to read us a story, Chris Matthews was heard on-air saying "Oh, god." Today, he explained why.

• President Obama's first Congressional address drew in 33.6 million viewers last night, according to preliminary figures from Nielsen. [ML]
• It was Chris Matthews who muttered "Oh, God" on MSNBC last night, right when Bobby Jindal was about to deliver the Republican response. [Politico]
• Fourth-quarter profit declined 77 percent at the Washington Post Co. [NYT]
• Remember the DABA Girls? Yea, well, much of what they told the Times was BS, which is why the paper issued a correction today. [Newsweek, NYT]
• The CW has renewed a bunch of shows, including 90210, Smallville, America's Next Top Model, and—most importantly—Gossip Girl. [Variety]
• Ex-Domino editor Deborah Needleman is "spending more time at the gym" in order to acquire "one of those Connecticut-housewife bodies," FYI. [MM]
• Jared Kushner may be cutting a deal to sell the Observer at Starbucks. [NYP]

• Hope you're ready to go through it all over again: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon, and Kristin Davis have all agreed to participate in a Sex and the City movie sequel. [Us]
• Graydon Carter should really consider writing a nutrition cookbook: It seems Madonna's secret to eternal youth is the salmon with lentils at the Waverly Inn. [L&S]
• Still more drama from the inaugural festivities in DC earlier this week: Chris Matthews got pissed about having to wait on line, Sharon Stone was annoyed she had to co-host a segment on CNN with D.L. Hughley, and Halle Berry went into panic mode after her dress got caught in an escalator. [P6]
• Gwyneth Paltrow was spotted on a flight doing yoga in the aisle recently. Is this becoming a trend? [Star]
• Charges against Mathias Guerrand-Hermès have been dropped. [NYDN]

Chris Matthews told his Hardball staff he won't run for a Pennsylvania senate seat in 2010, which means he'll probably remain at MSNBC. But will he be a sad poor, anchorwise?