Ted Cruz and John Kasich share more than just antipathy for Donald Trump. According to the Associated Press, a report issued by the software company Symantec found that phone apps released by both campaigns are not only incredibly invasive but also vulnerable to hackers.

2009's National Book Awards went down last night. In delightful twists of irony, they were a) sponsored by Google, b) held on Wall Street, and c) James Franco was there. So were Party Crash Photog Mo Pitz and I. BOOKS!

Fashion Week just OD'd. But I'm comforted by the fact that its sexy corpse will rise again to do another skeleton dance on the catwalk, seduce the style-obsessed among us, and throw up at an after-party at Indochine.

Once upon a time the John Varvatos store reeked of rat poison, sweaty skinheads and Iggy Pop's low-hanging balls. But last night, the scent was decidedly sweeter for me, because I totally partied on a tour bus with Perry Farrell.

I couldn't get into the big Marc Jacobs party at Hiro Ballroom last night. I didn't get to see Lady Ga Ga play a white piano, nor did I witness her violate a completely-shaved centaur backstage with a strap-on.

Superstar MisShapes DJ and lovably icy ingénue Leigh Lezark may be the Anna Wintour of the downtown scenester set. Does that mean we can't be friends?

I may still be on my couch wearing a rum-stained terrycloth bathrobe, but I'm about to undo my sash. Do you know why? Because tonight is Fashion's Night Out! Here are just some of the super-funtastic festivities.

• Amazon.com is in the hot seat for stripping gay and lesbian books of their sales rankings, something the bookseller is now calling a "glitch." [EW, WSJ]
• MSNBC is reportedly in the process of developing a weekend political show to be moderated by chief White House correspondent Chuck Todd. [NYO]
• More bad news for barely-living BlackBook: its longtime fashion director is out. And Jann Wenner's marketing chief is leaving Wenner Media. [WWD]
• Alpha Media has laid off a handful of employees at Maxim, including deputy editor Chris Wilson and editor-at-large Steve Garbarino. [NYO]
• Magazines are looking to raise subscription rates to save themselves. [NYT]

Chris Wilson has had to do some major backtracking since writing, in a Page Six Magazine point/counterpoint article two weeks ago, that he saw a passenger on an American Airlines flight "either pleasuring himself to online porn, or whittling something under his blanket." The deputy Maxim editor was just joking people! Sort of like his magazine was joking when earlier this year it "reviewed" two albums which had not yet been released, allegedly via the magic of crafty editors. Anyway, Wilson was apparently invited on Oprah to talk about his traumatic airplane experience, and had to disabuse (ahem) one of the show's producers of the idea he had written something, you know, true. Now Wilson is setting the entire world straight, via his "old dear friend" at the Observer:

America is full of out-of-control sex addicts, haven't you heard? In fact, the problem is so bad that even Chris Wilson, the hard-partying former Page Six staffer (and now deputy editor of Maxim) is seriously disturbed by the trend: "The other night I was flying on American Airlines, which recently began offering unfiltered Internet access, and the guy next to me was either pleasuring himself to online porn, or whittling something under his blanket. Thankfully, I had a copy of Departures to shield my face, but it was still pretty uncomfortable." [Page Six Magazine]

I was even more booze-waggled than usual when I sat down last night to watch another installment of Battlestar Galactica's final season on the Sci-Fi channel. You see, I was making my way through the 2nd Avenue F train stop around 9:30 to escape filthy Manhattan for my beloved Queens when a familiar, gravelly voice, called, "Spiegelman!" It was none other than my fellow former Page Sixer, Chris Wilson. We hadn't seen each other in at least a year so, naturally, much more drinking ensued. But I did make it home for the midnight showing. And dutifully jotted the following:

Super-famous New Yorker writer and liar Malcolm Gladwell isn't the only reporter who tried to sneak funny bits of prose into his articles for a respected newspaper. (Except didn't he not do that? I'm confused.) Anyhoo, it's a fun old game to play, and we used to play it Page Six. My fellow former Sixer Chris Wilson and I used to daydream about getting the term "Bukkake Bandit" onto the page, which, in 2003/2004, was no easy trick. In fact, it never even got past Richard Johnson. Another crusade was to get the Google definition of Senator Rick Santorum's name into the Post back when that was still new and fun.

In the Guardian, Tom Sykes, author of addiction memoir What Did I Do Last Night?, tells us how his publisher, along with a lawyer, made him fact-check his memoir: by sending the manuscript to everyone mentioned, including his drug dealer! Some of these people, while accurately described, were pissed. Especially Chris Wilson, formerly of Page Six and currently of Maxim!

According to Jeff Bercovici, Maxim no. 2 A.J. Baime "quietly returned to Playboy, from whence new Maxim editor in chief James Kaminsky poached him." Maxim is suffering from declining newsstand sales and also that whole flap with the Black Crowes review they made up before hearing the album. Meanwhile, we hear... that former Page Sixer and current Maxim deputy editor Chris Wilson either got canned last week or is the kind of dude who uses the "I just got fired" line to pick up ladies at Beatrice. Update: According to Chris Wilson, Chris Wilson still works at Maxim. "Your spies must have misheard. Maybe I said I'm tired, because it was late."

Ever notice how Scores, the standard bearer of Manhattan strip clubs, gets such good coverage from Page Six? Not just the various career moves of the club's leaders, like today's item about former frontman Lonnie Hanover's jump to Rick's Cabaret, but all those celeb sightings in the club. Lindsay Lohan dances! Jean-Claude Van Damme gets beat up! Dennis Quaid loses his credit card!

Today's Page Six stumbles when it should have scooped: "Sightings: Maxim Deputy Editor Chris Wilson howling out a Monkees song with N.Y. Observer writer George Gurley, followed by fellow Observer scribe Spencer Morgan and his girlfriend, Vanity Fair fashion editrix Alexis Stewart, belting out Heart's "Magic Man" at Sing Sing." So close! Alexis Stewart is Martha Stewart's crazy daughter. Spencer Morgan is dating Alexis Bryan. Shelby Bryan's daughter. You know, Vogue editor Anna Wintour's lover Shelby Bryan? Crazy, right? (Sort of better than Spencer's boss Jared Kushner dating Ivanka Trump even.) Please God, let them have children together and make Anna Wintour a grandmother at the same time as Colonel Potter becomes a great-grandfather!

This is so weird, but Monday morning we had this crazy dream: due to all sorts of tensions, Chris Wilson was leaving Page Six in the very near future. And then, today, OUR DREAM CAME TRUE. So freaky, right? It's like the one time we dreamed that we could fly and then, two days later, we dropped acid and really could fly.

We're a little more fuzzy than usual right now, having just awoken from the most fantastic dream. We can't remember all of the details, but it took place in the near future — perhaps even this week — and we were just plugging along through these stereotypical dog days, praying for a picture of Suri or a date with Jared Kushner (our subconscious wanderings are very realistic). Then the dream got really, really random: grizzled Page Six reporter Chris Wilson had announced, of all things, that he was taking a new job. Going somewhere for more money (maybe Radar, maybe Southern Living?), maybe going sooner rather than later because, despite whatever retractions, he's still the prime suspect in leaking word of bossman Richard Johnson's DUI. We can't remember all the details but, whatever the backstory, we clearly dreamed that Wilson was leaving P6. Like, leaving now.

In Page Six's lead story about the fascinating Foxy Brown, the gang gets its quotage from "Page Six's Sarah Polonsky." Innneresting — Polonsky's received a couple of similar name-checks in the column, which may be more than one could say for Page Six's official new hire, Bill Hoffmann. (Also: what is he doing over there? Playing wingman to Braden Keil?)

On Thursday night, Page Six editor Richard Johnson defied all logic and decided to drive a car in Manhattan. Adding to the shock factor was that he was pulled over for using a cell phone without an earpiece (bad-ass!), at which point the cops noticed he was visibly intoxicated (even more bad-ass!). Johnson refused to take a breathalyzer (super bad-ass!) and ended up spending the night in the drunk tank (hardcore bad-ass!). For his efforts, he was awarded the DUI Badge of Honor.