Someone Is Stealing Baby Jesus From Churches All Over New Jersey
Melissa Cronin · 12/28/15 10:59PM“Where have all the baby Jesuses gone?” ask New Jersey citizens, befuddled by the sudden disappearance of our lord and savior, the newborn lamb.
“Where have all the baby Jesuses gone?” ask New Jersey citizens, befuddled by the sudden disappearance of our lord and savior, the newborn lamb.
Here is a plainly delightful story. As a means of enchanting neighborhood children as well as advertising that all dinner parties at their home will be very uncomfortable, a family in Maine decided to express their disdain for the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant with a Christmas decoration that depicts the jolly folk hero Santa Claus urinating on lights that spell out the acronym “ISIS.”
Among other things, Bruce Oreck is a former body-builder, the son vacuum magnate David Oreck and the U.S. Ambassador to Finland. But far more importantly, he's the winner of the State Department's (imaginary) "Best Christmas Card" contest three years running, thanks to ambitiously weird images like this one, released via Oreck's Facebook on Wednesday.
Thirteen-year-old Malik Bryant lives on Chicago's south side, in the high-crime Englewood neighborhood. In his letter to Santa this year, Malik has only one request: "All I ask for is for safety. I just wanna be safe."
By now, most of your presents are opened, the torn, crumpled wrapping paper strewn among the dry pine needles on the floor. The egg nog is dangerously low, and you've probably started to run out of ways to distract yourself from your family. But fear not, dear reader, for someone probably has it worse than you.
Perhaps feeling pressured to show up in the wake of his shorter costar's karaoke successes, Dwayne "The Rock" "Can u smell what the rock is cookin'" Johnson gave a try at some karaoke singing himself. On this morning's episode of LIVE With Kelly and Michael, a rock melted viewers' hearts with a go-get-em rendition of "Here Comes Santa Claus," featuring a cameo from everyone's favorite fat guy with a bag.
It has not been the most splendid holiday season for Madonna, who had an entire album's worth of new songs leak last week. Nonetheless, she appears to still be in the Christmas spirit. Above you see the lone Christmas decoration outside her mansion on 81st Street in Manhattan: a wreath with dangling chrome letters spelling out the phrase "DAT ASS."