Cilantro—which tastes like diced garbage to millions of people but is included by default in many dishes anyway—has been linked to more than 380 stomach infections in America since May 1, likely due to contamination with human waste, the AP reports. Fuck cilantro.

Gluten taste! Chronic fatigue! E. coli! Lady clots! Food symbols! Cilantro nastiness! Sun safety! And eluding mosquitoes with potions made of science! It's your Wednesday Health Watch, where we watch your health—hotly, of course!