The New York Times corrected its Thursday front-page report on new footage of Syrian rebels — and would-be U.S. confederates — executing and burying seven kidnapped soldiers of the Syrian Armed Forces. It turns out the video was filmed in the spring of 2012, not April 2013.

Intrepid New York Times Russia correspondent (and former Marine!) CJ Chivers was snatched by the KGB this morning! Or was he? Read on for the details of this most insignificant international incident:

Russia! says that the Russian press reported that Chivers was "detained" by the KGB when he tried to enter into the disputed territory of Ossetia, and subsequently sent packin' back to Moscow. Crushing press freedom! International disputes! Editors called from New York, alarmed! Actually, Chivers told them, he and his fixer were just forced to sit around at the border because the border guards' supervisor was "in the shower":