· RIP Paul Newman, dead at 83. Remember him fondly here. · One press release, a "leaked" e-mail and an ill-conceived $1 million bet later, Harvey Weinstein and Scott Rudin settled their Reader kerfuffle. · Rest assured that when Heather Locklear finally tells her story about that crazy night in lock-up, it won't be to US Weekly. · This week in speedy recoveries: Travis Barker went home, DJ AM went out. · Anne Hathaway may not be game for anal sex, but she's up for David Letterman's BDSM any night of the week. · Wrestler Oscar-hopeful Mickey Rourke had a resolutely healthy perspective on his comeback: "You change, or you blow your fucking brains out." Amazing! That's just what our therapist told us! · We heard the four most dreaded words since "Verne Troyer sex tape": "Britney Spears sex tape." Meet the director if you must. · Ricky Gervais may or may not be a "fat idiot," but in any case remember: It's glandular, you cunt. · Fireworks on The View were brought to you this week by Bill Maher, Barbara Walters and, naturally, Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Twice. · You are cordially invited to the grand opening of Tyler Perry Studios this weekend in Atlanta — black tie and picket sign required. · Sharon Stone's maternal instincts were proven to be about as sharp as a Botox needle. · Mad Men and Pushing Daisies would be happy to trade in their Emmys for few million more viewers. · Speaking of Emmys, Survivor is already a front runner to nab next year's first-ever prize for Outstanding Performance by a Penis in a Reality Competition Show. · Joe Biden may be bitter about SNL's ongoing snub, but perhaps there's consolation in Homer Simpson's support.

Even battle-hardened, still-occupied, America-hating Iraqis are embracing this brave new media landscape of ours. According to newswire AFP, our wacky post-colonial subjects are posting some hilarious YouTube material lampooning us, our little war, and even themselves! Sort of. Mostly us, though.