John Krasinski is a true renaissance man: in addition to his work on The Office, he can count a Sundance directorial debut and a facility for Muppet arms to his credit. Still, one thing that may need a little more work is his incipient singing career, which he humbly debuted this past weekend in Los Angeles.
Perhaps the imploding real estate market is getting under the skin of Julian Schnabel, the artist turned film director turned high-end condo developer. The auteur's movies are widely admired and his smashed-plate paintings were at least big in the 1980s, but his hot pink ("Pompeii red") Palazzo Chupi has turned into a controversial icon for angry neighbors, gauche celebrity speculators and tumbling prices. And though Chupi didn't come up during Schnabel's 60 Minutes interview, the thin-skinned artist didn't take this blessing to heart, instead lashing out at Morley Shafer for daring to ask about art critic Robert Hughes, one of his most prominent detractors.
As a special end-of-the-week treat for you, we have this video of If I Did It author O.J. Simpson being sentenced in the Armed Sports-Memorabilia-Recovering Trial of the Century. Watch, as Judge Jackie Glass—whose name is temporarily on loan from the Museum of Blaxsploitation Cinema in Las Vegas, NV—first takes an especially delicious sip from a drinking straw before delivering the news. ("So, Mr. Simpson, the court has found as follows: Slurrrrrrrrrrrrrrp. Slurrrrrp. Slrrrrr. Sl. Slll. Sl. OK, where was I? Oh right, your sentence...") A little later you might notice Simpson glance down, perhaps to read the "YOU'RE FUCKED. SORRY!" note his lawyer had just scribbled on a legal pad. [CNN]
Former Buffalo Bills star running back O.J. Simpson has been out of the spotlight since retiring from football in 1979 (he's been playing a lot of golf), but fans of "The Juice" will be saddened to hear that he's run afoul of the law. Apparently Simpson was involved in a bit of armed robbery last year, taking back his own memorabilia from some questionable characters with the help of his trusty gun. So. He's been convicted of criminal conspiracy, kidnapping, assault, robbery, and using a deadly weapon. It's sentencing day! Simpson faces between 6 years and life in prison. Click for video of him being very, very sorry. We'll let you know what the sentence is shortly.
Chris Matthews made some fabulously entertaining television in May when he schooled a right-wing pundit pretending to know who Neville Chamberlain was and why Barack Obama was just as awful. Then he did it again to Michele Bachmann when the Republican Congresswoman tried to slyly say all liberals and entire certain states were anti-American. Now he's just going all GOTCHA! on everyone, constantly, embarrassing himself in the process, like in the attached clip.
· Who is worthy to open the book, and to loose the seals thereof? Rev 5:2
· And I looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death. Rev 6:8
· And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour. Rev 8:1
· And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. Rev 13:17
· Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life. Rev 2:10
· How much she hath glorified herself, and lived deliciously, so much torment and sorrow give her: for she saith in her heart, I sit a queen, and am no widow, and shall see no sorrow. Rev 18:7
Today, Barack Obama had his, what, fifteenth press conference in two weeks or something, to introduce America to his Secretary of Commerce, New Mexico Governor Bill Richardson. The assembled press had a very important question for the president-elect and his appointee: what happened to Bill Richardson's awesome primaries beard? Obama acknowledged his frustration with Richardson's decision to shave: "We're deeply disappointed with the loss of the beard," he said. Is this why Richardson didn't get the State job? Sure, the beard and also the fact that he's kind of a buffoon.
"Chris, you can call me Joan, I've had dinner at your house." This is an amazing, squirmy exchange between drunk contrarian Christopher Hitchens and liberal Salon lady Joan Walsh. They are arguing about Hillary Clinton and Marc Rich and stuff, but they are actually arguing about what a prick Chris Hitchens is, especially to ladies. Joan calls Chris "ridiculous" a good half-dozen times. Please enjoy. And don't mention the child. [Vid credit: Intern Daniel Caron]
Want to know what worry-prone consumers are looking for online? Marissa Mayer, the search engine's prettiest vice president, went on Today to reveal its top searches for 2008.
Because when it comes to melodramatic Lost promos set to the essential catalogue of The Fray—the soundtrack of our lives, really—too much is never enough, we bring you the seventh Lost trailer, featuring some rearranged footage you've already seen and that song you love so much! (This one doesn't actually feature the band, though fret not: We understand they do crash land on the magically reappearing island, where they are swiftly put to work putting out a subpar Nickelback single every 108 minutes—or everything will explode!) In case you've forgotten where we've left off last season, giant, swooshing intertitles helpfully remind us that "6 WERE RESCUED...THE REST...WE HAVE NO F&*%@ING CLUE BUT HOPEFULLY WE'LL GET THAT SORTED OUT." Needless to say, we're so there—hairy-chested Jack or not. [Lost]
With just a little over a month before Fox parts the 200-foot-high bamboo gates of Karaoke Island and unleashes their gargantuan ratings beast upon an eager-to-be-trampled public, the American Idol publicity machine is in full swing.
Sure, Barack Obama appointed a number of women to prominent positions in his national security team, but he is still a patent misogynistic. How else to explain the terrible set-up of the podium at his press conference this morning? All the women had to readjust the microphones, which still looked like they were coming out of their heads. It's too much work to get a little milk crate for Hillary and Janet and Susan? We know Obama's a master of stagecraft and political spectacle, so we can only imagine that this was totally 100% intentional, appointing all these short women who you can barely see. After all, Robert Reich didn't have to speak at the economic team press conference, did he? Click for our video compilation of mic-adjusting humiliation!
Here's a couple lessons for all you rookie reporters assigned to cover the Hollywood beat: 1. Make sure your "SHOWBIZ PRESS" pass is always facing outward in the band of your fedora. 2. Place a decoy in that neaby row of telephone booths—that way you can call your scoop into the paper the second it happens. 3. Never, under any circumstance, ask Philip Seymour Hoffman for insights regarding the true nature of the possible child-molesting priest character he plays in Doubt.
Anderson Cooper has to consider it one of the highlights of his career thus far, a thoroughly pleasurable counterbalance to his weeks of depressing Hurricane Katrina coverage back when the CNN anchor was still paying his dues: A flirty interview with champion Olympic swimmer and fellow heartthrob Michael Phelps, complete with shirt removal, medal-fondling, a cozy little nap together and the line, "Mind if I hold one? They're very heavy!" Viewers of Cooper's own AC360 are used to being brought in on this sort of innuendo; it was only a matter of time before the 60 Minutes contributor started beating CBS' larger audience over the head with the "boys make me giggle" routine. So to speak. (Clip after the jump.)
Here at Defamer HQ, we'd agreed that no recent video packed so many delightful moments into so short a time as Stephen Colbert's rendition of "Peace, Love, and Understanding (f. Feist, Toby Keith, and a bear)," and then, a challenger emerged! Sure, there was lots of talk this morning about yesterday's Britney Spears performance at the German ceremony known as the Bambi Awards, but precious little of that discussion centered on Spears accepting her award from eccentric designer Karl Lagerfeld. We're at a loss to pick our favorite moment: is it Lagerfeld telling Britney, "[You are] coming back not only as a phoenix, but as a bird of paradise"? Is it Britney's "Y'all, double-u-tee-eff?" reaction? Or is it the random cutaway to a totally confused Meg Ryan? You be the judge — the clip is after the jump:
Comedy Central curated a list of the Daily Show's top eight Thanksgiving moments, and watching the clips is a bit like pulling out a family photo album to find your boisterous uncle was thinner and less confident than you remembered. Events have allowed the show to feel less desperate and angry these days than in the multiple holiday clips that swipe at the Bush Administration. Katie Couric has put the shame of an M&M-float-disaster coverup behind her. But Rob Corddry's exposé on the farce of pardoned turkeys looks as relevant as ever! It's the first of the four best-of-the-best clips after the jump.
There were lots of huge, wonderful floats at the Macy's parade yesterday—we were particularly awed by the one of Gingerbread Roker and his crotch-investigating dog Mr. Sniffers, measuring an amazing 67 feet long, 39 feet wide and 34 feet tall. But for sheer entertainment value, nothing beat the float for Cartoon Network's Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends. Seriously—this is the coolest parade stunt ever. Cartoon Network rocked not just our Thanksgiving, but our entire world. [via Zen Monkey Blake]
People criticize President-Elect Hopey Hussein McGee for promising "change" and then appointing "people with experience in Washington." At his press conference today, he was asked about all the grizzled white dudes from Washington he keeps hiring to fix the economy. As he points out, new Economic Recovery Advisory Board head Paul Volcker hasn't been anywhere near Washington in years, and board staffer Austin Goolsbee has never been to Washington, ever. Then there is an implied joke about Austin's "fresh face" or something, which gets a chuckle from the crowd, thus fulfilling Obama's "one moment of levity per press conference" mandate. A new tone!
Kathie Lee Gifford, Cheyenne Jackson-certified bitch and vocally miserable co-host of the fourth hour of Today, was in rare form again this morning. Discussing a performance of Etta James's "At Last" by Beyoncé in the earlier, non-farm-league portion of the broadcast (and surrounded by half-empty wine bottles, as if that really bears mentioning), Green-Eyed Monster Gifford expanded her 20-foot demon wingspan before launching into her own version of the song. Co-host Hoda Kotb responded by giggling nervously, as if to say, "Yes, just like that, Kathie Lee, but—you know—less dried-out, desperate, and utterly soulless." Gifford then launched right into what she does best: complaining. "You thought there was action up above?" she segued into her gripe-of-the-minute. "Well, down below, in the anals of Rockefeller Center—her...guy wouldn't let me in!" Sasha Fierce—we don't know who your bodyguard is, but we think you owe him a performance bonus for keeping the backstage bowels Kathie Lee-free. [Today]
