Conan O'Brien is set to debut as the new host of the Tonight Show this evening, which is exciting. Though we do worry that because he's now on an hour earlier, our favorite kinds of Late Night bits might be deemed too weird or risky. Favorites likes these hallowed treasures:

Pat Buchanan, valiant defender of the White Man and his interests, knows that there is hostility and bigotry toward white men who voted for Pat Buchanan. And it's all because of that woman, Sonia Sotomayor.

Though she's been depicted strangling newspapers and stealing their content, Arianna Huffington was just warmly praised by the Washington Post's publisher. There are several reasons for this, starting with her comment about "very weird porn."

Carol Bartz is on a rampage. First the Yahoo CEO delivered a "fuck you" to Kara Swisher of All Things Digital. At least that half-joking rebuke was somewhat cordial; today Bartz cut off CNBC's Jim Goldman with an icy "excuse me" at the start of an on-air smackdown.

Oh, good, Today covered the teenage hug menace. "High school hugging has turned into a cultural phenomenon, studied by sociologists, and written about in The New York Times." A phenomenon studied by bullshit pseudo-scientists and written up as a trend in the Times? Hugs are the new hipster farms!

Yahoo's delightfully potty-mouthed CEO dropped another one of her famous F-bombs on the Wall Street Journal's Kara Swisher at the D conference today. The Journal's been promoting the incident online, but can't seem to bring itself to air video of the cussing.

We'll admit, there were some funny lines in this serenade to Rupert Murdoch at the Wall Street Journal's "D" event. But isn't buttering up the boss at the absolute beginning of your tech conference a little blatant?

Glenn Beck had an amazing transformation today on Fox News: In the morning, the conservative shouting head was saying Sonia Sotomayor was just your typical, politically correct Supreme Court nominee from a liberal president. By the evening, Beck had decided she was actually a dangerous racist.

This is a pygmy jerboa, a little rodent who likes to jump. He already looks like one of Pixar's creations, what with his long tail and comically oversized feetses. Don't you just want to see him in some sort wry yet heartwarming adventure about identity politics? [via Neatorama]

We know it's a holiday weekend, but you're still on TV, Good Morning America. Don't just put funny headphones on and concentrate on thinking about blowing balls, or whatever the hell is going on here.

NBC's Today this morning introduced us to some tech-addled teens who were helpless without their mobile phones. Let's all point and laugh, and cry.

Oh man, Keith Olbermann took to his nightly airwaves to try and shame CityFile, Wonkette and us for raising questions about his unexplained vacation last April. We're not sorry.

The 60 Minutes profile on Vogue editor Anna Wintour runs this Sunday. The publicity push is underway! We've learned who gets quoted in the upcoming segment—everyone else is screwed and unimportant:

What does it take to move CNN newsman Rick Sanchez? Not, apparently, a plane crash which killed 50 people.

Morgenstern runs Valor Equity Partners, which led a $40 million investment in Tesla in February 2008 and controls a seat on the board. The badly mismanaged electric-car startup quickly blew through Valor's money; by October, it was down to $9 million in cash. Despite raising more money from investors, Tesla is running on fumes, and collecting deposits for its Model S electric sedan, a car which exists only as a barely drivable quasi-prototype. Tesla requires hundreds of millions of dollars more than it has to make the Model S a reality — which is why Morgenstern's talk of new money is so interesting.

Happy news! The the Statue of Liberty's crown is reopening on July 4. Field trips! A nation of immigrants! And, for the Today Show crew, a chance to drone on endlessly about 9/11.

More than other TV comedians, Norm MacDonald seems to delight in thumbing his nose at network bigwigs. Tonight it was CBS' turn, via David Letterman's Late Show. At least the audience had fun.