The fiendish "government" is trying to ban clove cigarettes. So Big Clove has invented a novel way to fight back: Getting a court to declare that their clove cigarettes are not, in fact, cigarettes. Dude. Come on. Just declare it.

Dude, the government lets cigarettes be legal even though they kill like thousands of people. But weed is illegal. And now, dude, cloves are illegal. Cloves! The taste proves they're not killing you! Clove-smoking hippies are fighting back. With cloves!